The Moon and The Stars
by quietandsneaky
Summary: Prequel to The Things Unseen (Make the Soul Ache). Takes place from Kayla as a baby and meeting grandpa John for the first time to meeting Sam's new friend from work.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: The characters of Supernatural do not belong to me. The original characters of Kayla Winchester, Leslie Moore, and other minor characters along the way do.**

 **A/N: So, I don't know how far I'll take it with this story but I do have other chapters planned.**

"Good morning, Sam!"

"Hi, mom." Sam said happily. He walked over and kissed Leslie on the cheek. "I wish you'd let me make breakfast for you one day."

"Oh, stop fussing." Leslie said as she scooped another pancake onto the griddle. "I enjoy taking care of you and Jess and the baby. It's a nice distraction."

"Well, I appreciate you. I want you to know that." Sam said.

"My pleasure, dear." Leslie said pleasantly. "Would you set the table for me, please?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Sam and Jess had moved in with Jess's parents a few months earlier, and Sam never got over how loving the two of them were. They'd come to visit after Jess's father, Lloyd, had died, and Leslie ended up asking them to stay. Sam felt guilty not working and paying his way living there. But Leslie made her position clear, standing in the kitchen with a hand on her hips reminding him frighteningly of Jess.

"You've got no family to help you, Sam. Now my Jess loves you, and I can see why. You've got a big, loving, and caring heart. You helped Jess graduate, and you've given me a son with you and now a granddaughter with Kayla. Now if all you need in exchange for that is a bed to sleep on and someone to cook for you, then that's the least that I can do. Besides, with Lloyd gone, it does me good to have someone to take care of. I know you're trying to find a job. You take your time with that, and until you and Jess are ready to move, this is your home and I'll have no argument about it. Got it?"

A familiar babble broke Sam out of his thoughts as he set the last dish on the table. "Good morning, Kayla bug."

Kayla, who was not quite talking yet, made some more excited, incoherent babbling noises as she reached both hands out towards her father.

"She's definitely a daddy's girl." Leslie remarked with a grin as she finished flipping the last of the pancakes.

"Not quite, mom. Watch." Jess said. She walked away from Sam and Kayla briefly towards Leslie's direction. "Bye, bye, Kay."

Kayla now held one arm around her father's neck and made another, less happy noise as she reached out an arm towards her mother. _No, mommy. You stay,_ Jess imagined her saying.

"Well, I'll be." Leslie said as she turned off the burner to the stove. As she placed the plate of pancakes on the table, she asked, "How about a kiss for grandma, huh?"

Kayla suddenly pushed away from her father and mother and held out both arms towards Leslie. All three adults laughed as Kayla eagerly climbed into her grandmother's arms. Just before breakfast was done, there was a knock on the door.

"I'll get it." Sam answered.

When Sam opened the front door, his breath caught in his chest. There, with a ragged black jacket and a familiar face full of unkempt facial hair, was a man that Sam had thought he'd never see again.

"Dad?"

"Hi, Sam." John said. "I need your help with something."

Before Sam could answer, Jess called from the kitchen. "Incoming, Sam!"

Sam looked to the floor to find Kayla crawling towards him as fast as her little arms and legs could carry her.

"Sorry." Jess said, coming from the kitchen wiping her hands with a cloth. "I set her down on the floor to clean the tray on her high chair and she took off."

"Look at you, Kayla bug!" Sam said as Kayla grabbed his leg and pulled herself up. Sam happily picked her up and hugged her. "You're crawling now!"

"Sam, who's this?" Jess asked.

"Oh." Sam bit his lip to keep from cursing; it was one of the few things that made Leslie angry. "Jess, this is my father, John."

"What?" Jess asked. "Really?"

"Really." Sam said, clearly displeased. "Look, Jess, would you take Kayla to the kitchen with your mom, please? I need to talk to my dad alone."

"Sure." Jess took Kayla from Sam, who looked offended at the thought of leaving her daddy when she'd worked so hard to get to him. Despite the serious look on Sam's face, Jess giggled. "Don't worry, Daddy'll make it up to you."

"I'll come get you soon, bug." Sam promised. "Go with mommy and grandma." Sam pushed John back from the doorway slightly and firmly shut the front door behind him. "What do you want, Dad?"

"Look, I'm not happy I have to be here, either. But like I said, I need your help."

"No." Sam said.

"You don't even know what I'm here to ask." John said.

"I have a feeling I do, but the answer's still no." Sam said firmly. "No matter what it is, Dad, the answer is no."

"Sam, I have no one to help with this hunt, I need backup…"

"I SAID NO!" Sam shouted.

"Watch it, boy. I'm still your father. You will show me respect…"

"The hell I will!" Sam said. "You've got a hell of a nerve coming here and trying to play the dad card on me."

"Look I know the last time we saw each other we said some things…"

"I'm not doing this with you." Sam said.

"I'm trying here…" John said impatiently.

"The hell you are." Sam said. "You only came because you couldn't find help with whatever hunt you're about to go on. Well, I'll say it again, Dad, and as many times as it takes to get through. I am not now, nor am I ever coming to help on a hunt again."

"Sam, do you think I would have come if I had any other choice?" 

"I don't know and I don't care." 

John was shaking his head in obvious disapproval. "You're still the same selfish…"

"Yes. I am. I am still the same selfish son of a bitch that I was the day I told you I was going to college. And you are still the same selfish bastard who told your son to leave the house and not come back. The difference is this. I'm okay with it. Because I am not gonna turn into you. I will not leave my daughter to save strangers. If that means people die, then that's a chance I'm willing to take."

John scoffed. "Fine."

"Don't come back here, Dad." Sam said.

"You know, you make me out to be the bad guy in this, and you're the one who didn't even tell me you had a baby."

"Look me in the eye and tell me Dean didn't tell you when Kayla was born." Sam said. "Tell me he didn't tell you when I graduated Stanford, when I graduated law school, when I married Jess, and when Kayla was born."

John shuffled his feet.

"I wouldn't have stopped you from being there, Dad. But don't you _dare_ blame me for not going back to you. I followed your last order to the letter, _sir_. I left and didn't come back. Don't get pissy now because I actually did what you told me."

"Sam, please." John begged again.

"Dad. No. For the last time, no."

"Then forget the strangers, Sam. _I_ need you…"

"It's called a boundary, Dad. And I'm making it now. I know you're unfamiliar with that word and that you think you can bully, guilt, or push people to do what the hell you want, but that's not gonna work here. Now I'll make this clear, Dad. I would love for you to be in Kayla's life. But she's my kid, and she's Jess's kid. That means the buck stops with us, and us alone. You want to be in my kid's life, _you_ can be. But you have to leave the hunting behind." Sam said.

"I can't just leave…" John protested weakly.

"You never were much for listening, were you? I never said you had to leave hunting, Dad. But I've left, and you need to respect that. If you step within ten feet of my kid, your attention needs to be on her, and her alone. You so much as breathe the truth to her about monsters, you're done."

"You think keeping them ignorant is going to keep them safe?"

"I told you, Dad, and I'm only gonna say it once more. You want to see Kayla, you keep the hunting away. If you make a promise to her, you keep it. If you can't handle that, then leave and don't ever come back."

John knew it was a stab at him, and he didn't care. "Fine. I'll take this hunt myself."

"Be safe, Dad. I mean that. Don't be reckless. I hope I see you again one day. Kayla's already lost one grandfather, I'd hate for her to lose both."

John turned to leave, but Sam had one more thing to say.

"Dad? You know Bobby lives just a little over fifty miles away. Jess and I go to see him about every other weekend. I'm sure if you were looking for a permanent place, Bobby would take you in. You'd get to keep doing this, and you'd get to see Kayla grow up. Just think about it."

John still had his back to Sam. He said nothing, but his mind was turning. As he pulled back onto the road, he made his decision. When the hunt was over, he was calling Bobby.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So, ever since I wrote Jess's mom into the last chapter, I had to write this one. I plan on making Leslie a pretty big part of the story moving forward. In this chapter, John babysits Kayla so Sam and Jess can have a date night.**

"Thanks for doing this, Dad. We really appreciate it."

"No problem. Come on in."

When Jess came in behind Sam, diaper bag on her shoulder, eighteen-month-old Kayla gleefully extended her arms and started opening and closing her hands. "Ganpa!"

"Hello, sweetie pie." John said with a smile. "May I?"

"Please do." Jess said. "She is getting heavy."

"I think I can handle that." John said. When Kayla was safely deposited on John's waist, she started to giggle immediately.

"Grandpa gets giggles but mommy and daddy only get grumpies? What's up with that?"

"Is she okay?" John asked.

"Yeah. She's just had a bad cold this week." Jess said. "She won't fall asleep unless Sam is holding her, so you might have a bit of a fight at bedtime."

"We'll manage." John said. "Right, sweetheart?"

"Okay. We're gonna hit the road." Sam said. "Bye, sweetie. Daddy loves you."

"Bye, my baby." Jess said. "Mommy'll be back soon."

As Jess and Sam made their way to their car, Sam marveled at the difference in his father from a year earlier. Two days after he'd shown up unannounced at Leslie's door, Sam had gotten a half annoyed, half amazed call from Bobby saying that John had shown up and informed Bobby that he was moving in. After that, John had semi-retired from hunting, making sure to be home every other weekend when Sam brought Kayla around for a visit. Dean stayed between John and Bobby's and the various motel rooms he stayed in between his own hunts. Sam and Jess eventually found a small house for rent a few doors down from Leslie's, and the family settled into their own routine.

This weekend, Sam and Jess were going to a play in the nearby town of Edwardsville, then going out to dinner at a little restaurant they'd come to love called Parker's. Sam had proposed there, and Jess had announced her pregnancy there. It had unofficially become their special place, the place they went when they wanted to be a couple together.

A wrench had come into their plan a few days earlier when Sam asked Leslie to babysit.

"Oh, Sam, I'm sorry. I can't. I have plans that night, dear."

It didn't bother Sam that Leslie said no, though he was very curious what those plans actually were. He didn't ask, but he and Jess had spent all week wondering about it. Finally, they decided to put it aside. Leslie had every right to a social life that didn't include them. Sam had gotten the idea to get John to babysit after Dean also said no. He'd sensed that John was reluctant, but he eventually agreed. In truth, Sam was nervous too, but after John had worked so hard the last few months to gain Sam's trust back, Sam was more than willing to give him a chance if he wanted it.

The night went great. Sam and Jess both enjoyed the play, and they were pleasantly surprised to find that Parker's wasn't that busy. There was only one couple in front of them waiting for a table, so Sam passed the time in the lobby of the restaurant with his arms around Jess, whispering into her ear.

"I'm so glad we did this."

"Me too." Jess agreed. "I love Kay, but it feels good to not be mommy for a little while."

Sam started to say something else, until he spotted a familiar face at a table in the corner of the restaurant. "Isn't that your mom?"

Jess, startled, started to say no. What would her mother be doing here, nearly forty miles from home? But there was no doubt about it. 

"What is she doing here? Is she on a date?"

Sam chuckled. "Now we know why she couldn't babysit."

"Come on." Jess said, picking up her handbag and walking over to the table.

"Jess…"

By the time Sam could say anything, Jess was halfway across the floor headed towards her mother. Sam didn't blame her-the curiosity was too much to not try and get an answer. Sam heard Jess start to greet her mom, before he heard a familiar sound.

"Mamamamama…."

 _Kayla? I must be hearing things,_ Sam thought. But when Leslie's mysterious date turned his head, Sam stopped in his tracks.

"Dad?"

A slightly guilty John smiled at Sam. "Hi, son."

"What…?"

"Look, you two, we're sorry we didn't tell you." Leslie started.

"How long?" Sam asked.

"Sam…" John mistook Sam's surprised tone for one of anger, and started to lecture him on it.

"Dad, I'm not mad. I'm just…surprised." Sam said honestly. "How long?"

"Just a couple weeks." Leslie answered. "We weren't sure how you two would feel about it, so we decided to keep it between us. At least for now. Are you sure you're not mad?"

"I'm really not." Sam said. "Actually, I feel kind of bad. Dad, is this why you didn't really want to babysit?"

"Yes." John answered honestly. "Leslie and I almost cancelled because I couldn't figure out how to say no to you too without you guys figuring out something was going on. But we decided not to cancel and just bring Kayla along."

"I think it's great." Jess said.

"Really?" Leslie asked, relieved. She had been nervous about what Jess would think; her father had been dead less than two years, and he and Jess had been close. "You mean that?"

Jess hugged her mother's neck and kissed her cheek. "Yes. I think it's wonderful."

"Me too." Sam said.

"Thank you, Sam." John said appreciatively.

Sam was, as Dean would put it, 'weirded out' by the whole thing, but he _was_ happy that his father had a girlfriend. Despite his past with John, he wanted his dad to be happy. And, when he thought about it, John was a perfect fit for Leslie. It was a further sign that he was trying to change, and Sam would put aside his own worries if it helped him get along better with his dad.

"Look, you two are already here. Why don't you join us?"

"We don't want to impose…" Sam said.

"Dada sit." Kayla proclaimed from her high chair, pointing to an empty chair at the next table over. "Dada sit baby."

John chuckled. "You heard the lady. Sit down."

"Yes, ma'am." Sam grinned.

"Mama sit." Kayla said, pointing to the opposite side of her chair.

"You're kinda bossy sometimes, you know that?" Jess said.

"Mama sit baby?" Kayla said, her voice dropping and her bottom lip starting to wobble.

"Of course mama will sit with you. Come here."

Jess picked up the excited toddler and cuddled her, then spun her around gently, making her giggle. Two more chairs were pulled up to the table, and Kayla took full advantage of being the only baby at a table full of adults. When they were preparing to leave, John surprised Sam by asking if he could keep Kayla for the weekend, even offering to drive her home Sunday night. As they said goodbye to Leslie, who shrugged off Sam's offer to follow her home, and got into their own car, it was Jess who said it first.

"I meant it when I told them I was happy for them."

"Me too? But why do I sense a but coming?" Sam asked. "Are you worried about my dad?"

"No, no, no. I love your dad. I really do think it's great. But think about it."

After a long pause, Sam asked, "Think about…?"

"If they get any more serious, and end up getting married, that'll make you and me…"

A comical look of recognition crossed Sam's face, "Stepsiblings."

Jess giggled, sounding to Sam just like Kayla. She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Let's go home, bro."

"Not funny." Sam said, though his mouth was twitching upwards. He shook his head and started the car. "Let's go home."


	3. Chapter 3

"This one?"

"No, gramma."

"This one?" Leslie asked hopefully.

"Nope." 

"This one?" Leslie asked.

"Nuh-uh."

Leslie Moore was a kind, loving woman who had a heart for her family. She'd been a wife and mother for over thirty years. While she worked the occasional part time job to help out, she had always thought herself fortunate to be able to focus on her husband, child, and now her grandchild.

But damn if Kayla wasn't making her reconsider her priorities.

"Kayla, you need a Halloween costume, honey."

"Can I help?"

Kayla's stubborn face melted and lit up immediately. "Unca Beanie!"

"Hey, kiddo!"

Leslie loved Dean, but had never been so glad to see him before. She gladly stepped aside to let Dean pull Kayla from the cart. She smiled as Kayla wrapped two long arms around her uncle's neck, then wrapped both legs around his waist in what Leslie knew from experience was a tight, suffocating hug.

"You gotta let me go, kiddo." Dean said after almost half a minute of Kayla hanging onto him.

"No. I wet you go, you go 'way."

"I won't go away. I promise." Dean said, rubbing a hand in small circles against Kayla's back.

Kayla loosened her grip just enough to look at Dean's face. Dean stopped himself from laughing at how similar to Sam Kayla looked. At only three, she could bore holes into anyone with her big, brown eyes, and make you feel as if she was looking straight into your soul.

"You 'tay? Pwomise?"

"I'll be here, with you, at least until you go to bed."

"'Kay." Kayla said, loosening her grip on his neck.

"Now why are you giving grandma a hard time?"

"I not." Kayla insisted.

Leslie's eyebrow arched up in a clear _are you kidding me?_ look, but she calmly explained to Dean, "We're on a mission for a Halloween costume, and someone refuses every choice I show her."

"But Gramma, I told you what I wanted to be."

When Leslie's lips went thin in frustration, Dean came to the rescue. "You want me to take over?"

"That would be amazing." Leslie said. "Thank you, Dean. Really."

"Gramma go bye-bye?"

Kayla's question was asked with the beginnings of a wobbling lip, which Dean had become expert at stopping; as he talked his fingers travelled up and down Kayla's stomach, making her shriek with delight. "You mean you don't want to hang out with your uncle Beanie?"

"I'll leave you two to it. Thank you again, Dean."

"Gramma!" Kayla said.

Leslie bit her tongue, immensely annoyed, but that annoyance immediately melted away when she found Kayla with two outstretched arms.

"Got have huggies." she declared simply. "No leave without huggies."

Leslie hugged the energetic toddler still wrapped in Dean's arms, and resisted the urge to take her back. "Gramma's gonna go now, okay?"

"'Kay, Gramma. Wuvs you."

"Oh, grandma loves you too, my sweet." Leslie kissed Kayla's cheek and informed Dean, "Jess wanted me to find her a dress for her birthday party too. Can you handle that?"

"I think we can manage." Dean said.

"Sam and Jess are both working, so I'm making dinner for them. You want to join us?"

Dean grinned and said, "I was kinda counting on it."

"Dean, you can come _any_ time. You don't have to ask. If I'm not home, you know where the key is. Okay? My home is your home."

Dean smiled. "Thanks."

Leslie left, and Dean turned back to Kayla. "Okay, kiddo. How about we take a break from Halloween costumes and look for a dress?"

"Yay!" Kayla cheered, clapping her hands.

The search for a dress was easy enough. After vetoing one choice for being too small, one for being too big, one for being 'too icky', and one for being, according to Dean, 'so purple you'd be a mini Barney', Kayla found a dress that was light blue with pink and purple polka dots that she fell in love with. Before heading back to the costume section, Dean rested his arms on the bar of the cart and came down to Kayla's eye level.

"Alright, kiddo. What do you want to be for Halloween?"

"A waryer." Kayla said with no hesitation.

Dean, who had expected a shrug or an 'I not know, unca Beanie', was surprised. Then he remembered that Kayla had said to Leslie that she'd already told her what she wanted to be. But Dean was stumped. It usually wasn't too hard to figure out what Kayla was saying if you were listening, so he tried again.

"A what?"

"A waryer." Kayla said again.

"I'm sorry, kiddo. I'm not sure what you're saying."

Kayla huffed and crossed her arms, something that Dean had thought she was at least ten years too young for. But all he felt for Kayla was sympathy. Her problem wasn't a bad attitude, as the huffing and crossing her arms would have said to their father. Just the opposite-Kayla was the happiest child he'd seen in years, a mirror reflection of Sam at the same age. But, Dean realized, it had to be hard to try and talk and have no one understand you.

"I'm sorry, kiddo." Dean said again. "Help me out here. Give me a clue."

"What a cue?" Kayla asked.

"Something to help me understand what you want to want to be for Halloween."

"A waryer." Kayla said again. "Wike Daddy."

"Like Dad…" Dean started to say, before it hit him what she was saying. "A _lawyer_?"

"Yeah." Kayla said, smile returning quickly.

The week before, due to a miscommunication between her parents and grandmother, Kayla had ended up spending the day with her Daddy where he worked. She'd had fun, but the best part had been going to court with him. Daddy had told her before they went in that they wouldn't be there very long, but she had to be very, very quiet and not say anything. She didn't understand a lot of what was going on, but she liked watching her Daddy talk to the judge. The judge, a man that reminded Kayla of her grandfather, had even complimented her on her 'very ladylike behavior in a boring, grownup place', and, with her daddy's permission, had given her a lollipop before they left.

On the way home, Kayla had asked Daddy about what was going on. He'd explained that the lady at the table with him had gotten the man at the other table to do some work for her on her house. The man hadn't done the work the way he should have, and now the lady's house was falling apart and she couldn't live in it without maybe getting hurt. Daddy was trying to help her get money from the man so she could fix her house the right way and make it safe. It was on that day, sitting in her car seat listening to her Daddy tell her what he'd done, that one thing became clear.

To two-year-old Kayla Winchester, her daddy was a hero. He helped people who needed it, people who'd been hurt and bullied. And she wanted to be just like him.

"Are you sure, kiddo?" Dean asked.

"A waryer." Kayla insisted. "Unca Beanie, you hep me, pease?"

"Okay." Dean said. "I guess we need to find you a suit."

Sam walked into the house, tired and ready to go to bed already. He was almost two hours later than he'd thought he would be, and he wanted nothing more than to cuddle Kayla for a few minutes then lay down for the rest of the weekend.

"Hey, you."

"Hey." Sam quickly kissed Jess, surprised that Kayla hadn't run out to meet him already. "Where's Kayla?"

"In the kitchen with mom and Dean."

"Okay." Sam said, as Kayla giggled from the kitchen. "What's going on?"

"She finally decided on her Halloween costume, and she wants to surprise you."

"Hang on, let me pull my coat off."

"NO!" Jess said, making Sam jump. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, just keep it on. Trust me, okay?"

"Okay."

"Kayla? You ready?" Jess asked.

"Tell Daddy to cose his eyes." Kayla said.

"Daddy, close your eyes." Jess said with a grin.

Sam rolled his eyes before closing them, having learned long ago it was easier to just do what Kayla asked.

"Otay, Daddy. Surpwise!"

When Sam opened his eyes, his mouth dropped open. Kayla was dressed in a boy's suit, navy blue in color with a light blue shirt and a navy blue tie. The sleeves were too big for her, so they were folded to her wrists. But Kayla held her grandma's hand, beaming as if she was the proudest little girl in all the land.

"What is this?"

"I'm you, Daddy!" Kayla said proudly. "You wike it?"

"You're…you're me?"

"It seems you made a very big impression on her last week." Jess explained.

"You mean, when I took you to court?" Sam asked Kayla. 

"She's been talking about it all afternoon." Dean said.

"We try find a back suit wike yours. But we not find it. So we gots bue." Kayla said. "You wikes it, Daddy?"

"I love it, baby. Come here."

A delighted Kayla ran from her grandmother to her Daddy, who scooped her up and hugged her so tight she couldn't breathe for a minute. When she let Daddy go, she noticed he was still smiling. Jess, who had already bathed Kayla, told her it was time for bed. Kayla insisted on Sam putting her to bed, and after he did, she dreamed. Her grandma was the judge, and she and her uncle Dean were arguing against her parents. The case: whether or not Kayla could have ice cream and pie for dinner.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Okay, this chapter needs a warning. It is, sort of, a spanking chapter. BUT, that's not what the warning's about. I mentioned in The Things Unseen (Make the Soul Ache) that Sam believed in spanking but Jess didn't. I thought it would be fun to write them having an argument about it.**

 **I am sort of on the fence about spanking as a punishment or not, so please don't take this chapter as an endorsement or criticism. I am not supporting those who do choose to spank their kids, and I am not condemning those that do either. My point is this-the point of this chapter is two adults having a disagreement about the way their kid is raised, and eventually resolving it. They don't completely go one way or the other, they reach a middle ground that neither one loves or hates. Please don't leave any reviews debating one way or the other. And, as always, any abusive or flaming reviews will be reported/deleted. Thank you!**

Jess walked into the house, three grocery bags on either arm. The grocery shopping trip had gone much faster by herself, but she was ready to get back home to Kayla now. Kayla had been napping when Jess left, but should have been up for at least a half hour when she got through the door.

Only when Jess closed the front door and took her shoes off did she realize that something was off. There was none of Kayla's usual excited greeting of 'mommy!', no excited babbling, no usual giggling. She started to call out for Sam when she spotted them. Kayla, on the couch, sitting in Sam's lap, sniffling and crying softly.

"What's going on? Are you okay?"

Sam patted Kayla's back and told her gently, "Sit up. Tell mommy what happened."

Kayla turned and faced her mother, her eyes puffy and red. "Hi, mommy."

"Hey, what's going on?" Jess asked again, slightly alarmed. "Are you hurt?"

"I did somefing bad, mommy."

"What? What'd you do?" Jess asked.

"I drawed on the wall in my room."

"Okay. That's not good, and I'm proud of you for telling me, but why are you crying?" Jess pressed.

Kayla blushed a little and looked down, afraid she was in trouble all over again.

Sam knew that it would likely start an argument with Jess, but if he waited any longer for Kayla to tell her, they'd be sitting there all day. "She'll be fine."

"That doesn't answer the question." Jess said, finally realizing why Kayla might be crying.

"Mommy, you mad at me too?" Kayla asked, distressed. "I'll help clean it up, I sorry."

"Shhh. Relax, Kayla. Go on and play."

Kayla, eager to get away, crawled off her dad's lap and back towards her room.

"I know you're mad…"

"Did you spank her?" Jess asked, the anger evident in her voice.

Sam sighed. Straight to the point. "Yes."

"Okay." Jess said. "Fine."

Jess picked up the grocery bags again and went into the kitchen. Sam thought about telling her he was leaving, that he'd be back when she'd calmed down, but he knew from experience Jess tended to stew rather than get calmer. Taking a deep breath, he entered the kitchen, where he could hear Jess putting groceries in the cabinet with much more force than necessary.

"You're mad." Sam said simply.

"Nope. I'm not mad. Why would I be mad?"

"Why don't you tell me?" Sam said, trying hard not to snap at her to make the argument go faster.

"Maybe because I thought that the two of us had an agreement that you weren't going to spank her unless I was here and both agreed?" Jess said as she threw a can of beans into the pantry. "That may have something to do with it."

"I remember telling you I'd think about that."

"So what? You know that I don't like you spanking her, so you just decide to do it when I'm not here. Is that it?" Jess asked, her uncharacteristic aggravation rubbing Sam the wrong way.

"I caught her doing something she knows she's not supposed to do. So yes, I told her it was wrong, and I spanked her butt eight times as a punishment. She cried a little, apologized, told you and apologized, and now it's over."

"And there's _nothing_ else you could have done? You didn't think to maybe take away her coloring stuff for a while? Sit her in the corner until I got home? Explaining to her that she can't draw on the walls and it makes more work for mommy and daddy to have to clean it up? Early bedtime? None of this occurred to you?" Jess asked.

"I did tell her she was gonna have to help us clean it up. That was my plan."

"Well, I'm so sorry that me being angry with you messed up your plan, Sam." Jess said, turning back to the groceries.

"Jess, are we going to fight over this every time?" Sam asked. "Do you think I'm gonna hurt her or something?"

"No. I don't think you'll hurt her. But answer this. If I hadn't come home when I did, would you have told me that you spanked her?"

Sam shifted his feet and looked down.

"Yeah. That's what I thought. And why wouldn't you have told me, Sam?"

"Honestly? Because you would have made a bigger deal out of it than it was. Just like you're doing right now." Sam said, still carefully measuring his voice to try and stay calm.

"Why won't you even try something else, Sam?"

"Because it works!" Sam said. "It's quick, and she'll remember next time not to do it. And it's not a long, drawn out punishment like taking away her coloring stuff or sitting her in the corner. After it's over, I hold her a minute, remind her I love her, and that's it."

Jess just shook her head and continued putting the groceries away.

"Let me help you."

"I've got it." Jess snipped.

Sam sighed. He'd be in the doghouse a while. "Do you want me to start cleaning up her wall?"

"Do whatever you want. You're going to anyway."

"Enough, Jess!" Sam snapped, his voice rising in a familiar way that unsettled even Sam. "You know you're acting like you're Kayla's age when you do this."

"Do what?" Jess asked, raising her eyebrows in a way that clearly communicated _just who the hell do you think you're raising your voice to, buddy?_

"Throw a tantrum because something doesn't go your way."

Sam went from angry to hurt and back to angry in a flash. She had a bag of apples in her hand that she placed down on the table slowly. Sam realized what he'd said and the regret nearly ate him alive.

"Since apparently I'm your child and not your _wife_ , you can finish putting the groceries away. And you can make dinner, and you can bathe Kayla, and at bedtime, you can sleep on the couch."

"Jess, I'm sorry…"

"Leave me alone. I'll be in our room." Jess said, finally turning and walking down the hall towards their bedroom and away from Sam.

Sam sighed and shook his head. He honestly didn't see the big deal, but Jess had told him quite a few times that she'd prefer he didn't spank Kayla if she wasn't home. Kayla rarely got in trouble, but when she did, Jess was, Sam felt, way too soft on her. He'd said _that_ before too, and it had gone over as well as the argument in the kitchen. But Sam wasn't an idiot. He knew that he'd way crossed the line by raising his voice to Jess and calling her a child. She covered it with anger, but he'd hurt her feelings deeply.

"Nice job, idiot."

Sam knew better than to go to their bedroom right away. He finished putting up the groceries, then filled a bucket with some water and a little soap and headed down to Kayla's room. She hadn't drawn too much on the wall, so he patiently explained how to clean it, and praised her mightily when she did most of it by herself. He gently reminded her not to draw on her wall again, then decided it was time to try and patch things up with Jess.

"Daddy?"

"Yep?" Sam asked as he prepared to take the bucket back to the kitchen.

"Is mommy okay?" Kayla asked. "I saw her go to your room but she looked mad."

Sam sighed again. "I'm afraid I said something to hurt mommy's feelings."

"Did you mean to?"

"No." Sam said honestly. "No, I didn't."

"Did you say sorry?"

Sam smiled. "Not yet. But I will. I promise."

Kayla put her hands on her hips and declared, "It's not nice to hurt people's feelings, Daddy."

Sam laughed. "I know. I'll tell mommy sorry, I promise."

"'Kay." Kayla said, apparently satisfied to take Sam's word for it.

"Hey." Sam said before leaving Kayla's room. He reached over and playfully grabbed her nose and tweaked it a bit. Kayla giggled and brushed his hand away. "I love you."

"Love you more."

"Nuh-uh." Sam said with a fake whine. 

"Yes huh." Kayla said with a giggle.

"I'll be back." Sam said. "You want to help me make dinner?"

"Yeah!"

"Okay, go wash your hands and wait for me in the kitchen. _Do not_ start anything until I get there."

"Okay, Daddy!" Kayla said, eagerly running to the bathroom.

No more stalling, Sam realized. He walked down towards their bedroom, where the door was closed. He knocked, and when there was no answer, he cautiously opened the door. Jess was sitting in the bed, reading the novel she'd been working on before going to sleep at night. She either didn't hear or didn't acknowledge Sam at the door. 

"Can I come in?"

"Sure." Jess said indifferently.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" Jess asked without taking her eyes off the book.

"Not taking how you would feel about this into account." Sam said sincerely. "I'm sorry."

Jess folded the book shut and put it down beside her. "Have you ever spanked her before?"

"You know I have."

"That I don't know about." Jess clarified.

"Yes." Sam said.

Jess nodded. "Okay. How many times?"

Sam seriously considered lying to Jess's face, and was proud of himself when he didn't. "I don't know exactly. Maybe half a dozen times."

"Half a _dozen_?" Jess repeated.

"Yes."

"Sam, why didn't you tell me?" Jess asked.

"Because I was afraid you'd react like this."

"Yeah, Sam, I would've." Jess said. "You know, it's not even the spanking itself that really bothers me. It's that you hid it from me."

"I know. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have hidden it from you. But it feels like you don't trust me to be alone with Kayla."

"That's not it." Jess said.

"Then what is it?"

"It _bothers_ me, Sam. It bothers me, and that used to be enough for you to at least consider not doing something." Jess said. "And the fact that you were doing it behind my back just tells me you know and don't care that it bothers me."

"I do care…"

"But what _really_ gets under my skin, is the fact that while you might respect me as your wife, at least _most_ of the time," Sam squirmed, and he knew she was still feeling sore over what had happened in the kitchen, "you do not take me seriously as Kayla's mother."

That took Sam off guard. "What? Of course I do."

"No, you don't. I can't count the number of times you've gotten on Kayla about something when I am trying to spend some time with her."

"Like when?" Sam asked.

"Like last night. When she and I were on the couch, cuddled up and talking, and you told her it was time for bed."

"It _was._ " Sam said.

"Which was why I had already bathed her and made sure she was in her pajamas." Jess said. "I know you were just trying to make sure we kept her on a routine. But there are times when it's okay to throw out the routine. Like when I'm spending quality time with her that does not involve shuffling her to preschool or over to my mom's while I work or doing chores. She would have fallen asleep in my lap in no time if you had given her the chance."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know it meant that much to you." Sam said. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because anytime I dare to tell you that you might need to back down when you're telling Kayla what to do, you get pissy. I didn't say anything because it bothers you when I do." Jess said.

"That's not fair." Sam replied.

"I have more examples if you want them."

"Okay." Sam said. "Go on."

"Last week. We were at mom's, and Kayla asked me if she could go out in the yard and play." Jess said. "Before I even had the chance to say anything, you told her no."

"It was five degrees outside!"

"That's not the point. The point is, Kayla didn't say 'Daddy, can I go outside?', she said 'Mommy, can I go outside?'. Why did you feel the need to answer a question Kayla addressed to me?"

"I didn't think about it." Sam said. "I just answered on instinct."

"Bullshit." Jess said.

"What?"

"You heard me. Bullshit. I can tell when you're lying. Tell me the truth, now." Jess said.

 _Here it goes. My suicide jump._ "I thought you'd tell her yes."

"Excuse me?"

"I thought you'd tell her yes." Sam admitted.

"And why is that?" Jess asked. "Do you think I prefer my daughter as a popsicle? Or sick with pneumonia?"

"No, Jess. I just thought you'd tell her yes."

"Why? I want to know why you think I'd be stupid enough to let my daughter go out and play in single digit weather."

"Because you never do tell Kayla no." Sam said. "I can't remember the last time I saw Kayla ask you for something and you told her no. You're way too lenient with her, Jess. Just talking does nothing."

"How would you know?" Jess asked. "You've never tried it."

"You act like I never do anything else. You're acting like I just grab her and start smacking the second she breathes wrong."

"I would rather her do the right thing because it's the right thing to do instead of being afraid of getting a spanking. Why is that so hard for you to understand?"

"I do understand that, Jess." Sam said, annoyed. "I just don't agree with you on it."

"Do you? Do you truly understand why spanking bothers me?" Jess asked. "If you don't, I'll tell you. But you can't get defensive, or pissy, or start yelling at me for it."

"I won't."

"If you do, this conversation is over." Jess said.

"I swear I won't." Sam said. He'd always felt lost as to why Jess was so against it. "Tell me."

"Okay. From my point of view, you are seven times Kayla's age, five times her size, and ten times as strong as she is. When she does something wrong, instead of _teaching_ her why it's wrong, you grab her and you hit her."

"I don't _hit_ my daughter." Sam said through gritted teeth.

"I am not arguing with you. I'm trying to tell you how this looks to me. Let me finish, and I'll give a chance to explain the difference. Okay?"

Sam nodded grimly.

"I get that you hold her, and you hug her, and you remind her that you love her. But if you didn't spank her, none of that would be necessary." Jess said. "Okay, go. Tell me how I'm seeing this wrong. And don't tell me it's because that's how you were raised. You and your dad didn't speak to each other for years, so that's not a good enough reason for me."

"Well, good enough reason or not, there's a lot more behind why Dad and I didn't talk to each other than the fact that he spanked me." Sam waited for Jess to respond, but when she didn't, he pressed on. "As far as me being older, bigger, and stronger than Kayla, I know that. That's why I barely swat her when I do spank her."

Jess held her hand out. "Show me."

"What?"

"Show me." Jess said. "Hit my hand as hard as you hit Kayla when you spank her."

Sam was stunned. "Jess…"

"Sam, do it." Jess said. "You want me to understand, right? Hit my hand the same way you spank Kayla."

Sam felt ridiculous, but he did as she said. Jess's mind began to turn. She'd barely felt the swat. It was louder than it was painful.

"Okay. I'll give you this. I barely felt that."

Sam, surprised at Jess's concession, said, "Thank you."

"But, I still don't understand the connection between spanking her and drawing on the wall." Jess said. "If I had found her, I would have taken her crayons and markers until tomorrow and made her help me clean up. Why did you choose a spanking over that?"

"Because taking her coloring stuff makes the punishment drag out longer. She would have been miserable until tomorrow. I spank her and talk to her about it, it's over. We can move on."

Jess was silent. _Damn it_ , she thought to herself. _He actually has a point._

"Explain to me why you would have taken her coloring stuff."

"What?"

"I explained why I spank Kayla to you. Explain why you would've done something different." Sam said.

"Because taking her coloring stuff and making her help me clean up, the second that it happened, shows her what she did was wrong. It shows her mommy works hard to keep the house clean, and when she does stuff like that, it makes more work for me, and harder to spend time with her. Plus, if she can't color or draw, she has more time to think about why she shouldn't do it again. If you spank her, all she's thinking about is that it hurts and I want to get away."

 _Damn it,_ Sam thought. _She has a point._

"Look, I don't want to fight with you over this. I will never agree that spanking is a good way to go. I'm sorry if that hurts your feelings, but I just don't see myself changing my mind." Jess said. "But I do trust you. You're still an amazing daddy, even if I don't agree with how you handle her all the time."

"Thank you."

"I have an idea. A compromise." Jess said. "It's what I was really doing while I was in here."

"Okay."

"A three strikes system. First strike, she gets a warning. She does it again, she gets a second strike. She chooses then-a spanking from Daddy, or a punishment from mommy. Third strike, no choice. Whoever she's with gets to choose, and the other one doesn't interfere."

"What if she's with both of us?" Sam asked.

"Hopefully this'll work so well she won't get to a third strike. But if she does, we'll take turns." Jess suggested.

"One thing." Sam said. When Jess tensed up, Sam explained, "I'm not arguing. But I do have one issue with this."

"What?"

"How is giving her a choice helpful? No kid in their right mind is going to choose a spanking."

"She wouldn't choose to have her stuff taken away either. Or having to clean up. Or getting extra chores, or being grounded, or anything else I might pick. But besides, the choice is more for us than for her. It's to save us from having this fight every time she gets in trouble." Jess said. "Besides, if I'm willing to get past the problems I had with you spanking her, I don't think it's too much to ask for you to move past your problems with this."

"You're right." Sam said. "I can live with that."

"Good. Thank you, I mean that. Now, on to more pressing matters."

"What else is there?" Sam asked.

"We're both going to make mistakes here. If you ever spank Kayla before she's on her second strike, _don't_ hide it from me. That's lying to me."

"Agreed." Sam said.

"Second, don't ever talk to me again like you did in the kitchen. It is not wrong or _childish_ of me to be angry that you did something behind my back."

"I know." Sam said. "I'm sorry, honey."

"Finally, don't ever raise your voice to me." Jess said. "You have a problem with me, you bring it to me and you talk to me like an adult. I don't yell at you, so you don't do it to me."

"You're right." Sam said. "No yelling. I'm sorry."

"And I'm sorry too. I wasn't implying earlier that you hit Kayla, and I'm sorry I made you feel that way. Forgive me?"

"Of course."

A knock at the bedroom door made them both turn. Kayla stood there with her hands on her hips and an annoyed look on her face.

"You forgotted about me."

"What did I forget?" Sam asked.

"Are we making dinner?"

"Oh!" Sam said, and smiled guiltily. "Sorry, sweetie. I guess I did forget."

"It's okay. Did you say sorry?"

Jess opened her mouth in surprise, and Sam explained, "I told her that I said something to hurt your feelings and I needed to say sorry."

"Oh." Jess smiled in relief that Kayla didn't know they'd been arguing over what had happened earlier. "Yes, baby, he said sorry."

"Good. I's hungry, can we get dinner now please?"

"Yes. We can get dinner. What do you want?" Jess asked as she climbed off the bed.

"No, mommy." Kayla said, holding a hand out to stop Jess from leaving. "Me and Daddy do it. You have dinner in bed."

"Can't argue with that." Jess said.

"You deserve it." Sam said. He kissed her cheek and asked, "We good?"

"We're great." Jess said.

"Am I still sleeping on the couch?"

"Not unless you mess up dinner." Jess said with a grin, to which Sam only responded by rolling his eye and telling Kayla to go to the kitchen. Jess shook her head and returned to her book.


	5. Chapter 5

Kayla crept down the stairs as silently as she could. She could hear someone laughing downstairs, someone she was certain was real but had never seen before. Sure, she'd met him at the mall a few times, but there was always a lot of other kids around. Kayla had made it her goal, this year, that she was going to get to talk to Santa alone.

Kayla was spending the night with her grandparents, like she did almost every weekend. Mommy and Daddy liked to spend Friday nights to themselves, so she would either go to grandma Leslie's or grandpa John's. More often than not, if she ended up at grandma's, grandpa would come over, and if she ended up at grandpa's, grandma would come over. Tonight, she was at grandpa's, and she was happy for it. It was easy to hide on uncle Bobby's staircase, so she sat next to the banister and waited.

Grandma was under the Christmas tree, with a glass in her hand of the 'grown-up juice' she'd always warned Kayla to stay away from. Grandpa came up behind her, put both his arms around her middle, and kissed her cheek. Soon enough, the front door opened and in he came.

"Ho ho ho!"

Kayla put a hand to her mouth and gasped. "Santa!" she whispered.

Santa walked into the living room where grandma and grandpa were, and Kayla was too surprised to go out and meet him like she wanted. But when Santa walked into the living room, something changed. He went to grandma, grabbed her from grandpa, kissed her cheek and spun her around. Even though grandma and grandpa were both laughing, a scary thought formed in Kayla's mind.

Was Santa trying to take grandma away?

Kayla, knowing no one else would believe her, went up to bed before saying anything. She went through various plans in her mind, but dismissed them all before finally trying to go back to sleep. She had a bad dream that night. Grandma was watching her play on the playground, before Santa came up, kissed her on the cheek, and took her away. Kayla started crying, calling out for grandma to come back.

"Kayla!"

Kayla jumped in bed and woke up crying. It took a few seconds for her to realize that she was in her room at grandpa John's house, rather than at the park with grandma. Grandma was sitting on her bed and grandpa stood above her. Both of them were worried, and grandma was wiping her face where she was crying.

"Kayla, what happened? Honey, are you okay?"

"Bad dream, grandma." Kayla said, crying.

"I'll say. You were screaming." John said. "What happened in the dream, honey?"

"I not 'member." Kayla said. She knew she should tell them, but she was afraid they wouldn't believe her.

"Oh, sweetie." Leslie said. "Come here." Leslie held Kayla for a minute or two, until she stopped crying. "You ready to go back to sleep?"

"Will you stay wif me, grandma? Please?" Kayla begged. She knew grandma wanted to go spend some time with grandpa, but Kayla was scared. She needed her grandma right now. "Please?" Kayla begged again.

"Of course, sweetie. Lay back down and I'll stay until you go to sleep, okay?"

"M'kay." Kayla said.

"Come on, lay down."

Kayla laid back down on her bed, grandma rubbing her back and singing her a lullaby. Grandpa stayed close by, and Kayla felt him lean down and kiss her forehead just as she was drifting back off to sleep. She didn't have any more bad dreams that night, but when she woke up the next day, she remembered her dream right away. Kayla jumped off her bed and ran downstairs to the living room.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where's the fire?" Bobby asked.

"Uncle Bobby, where's grandma?" Kayla asked.

"She and your grandad went out to the grocery store. They'll be back soon." Bobby said. "There's a little breakfast on the table. You hungry?"

"She's gone?" Kayla asked, her big eyes filling with tears that broke Bobby's heart.

"Hey, hey. What's wrong, kiddo?" Bobby asked, bending down to pick her up. "What's with the waterworks?"

Kayla thought about telling Bobby the whole story, but she doubted he'd believe her. "Grandma's not coming back." she eventually said, the tears starting to fall quickly.

"Well, I promise you that's not true, kiddo." Bobby said, concerned with how quickly she was getting upset. "Why do you think she's not coming back?"

As if Leslie had heard Kayla crying for her, the front door opened at just that moment. John stepped in first with a couple of bags, Leslie coming in right behind him.

"See, kiddo, told 'ya." Bobby said.

"Grandma!"

Before Leslie could even register hearing Kayla, Bobby had put her down and Kayla was wrapped around Leslie's knee. Leslie handed the one bag she was carrying to John and picked up Kayla.

"What's going on with you?"

"She thought you weren't coming back." Bobby explained.

"What?" Leslie asked. "Kayla, why would you think that? Is this about your dream last night?"

"I's just scared." Kayla said. "I woke up and you not there."

"I'm sorry, sweetie." Leslie said. She was sincere but still confused; Kayla had never been afraid to be alone with Bobby before, so she'd thought that everything would be okay when they left. "I promise grandma would never leave you and not come back, okay?"

"M'kay." Kayla said.

"Will you help me and grandpa put the groceries away?"

"Yes, ma'am." Kayla said politely.

After the groceries were put away, and Kayla had been given her breakfast, Leslie was still confused. What in the world had Kayla convinced that she would leave and not come back? An hour later, when Kayla had been convinced to play in the yard while Leslie and John sat on the porch.

"What do you think is going on?" Leslie asked. "She's been clingy before, but not like this."

"I don't know." John said. "Maybe we can get Dean to coax it out of her tonight."

"Mommy! Daddy!"

Kayla stopped playing and ran towards her parents, who had just driven up. Leslie walked over, surprised to see the two of them several hours early. "What are you guys doing here?"

"We missed Kay." Jess said, tickling Kayla's stomach.

After she giggled, Kayla asked, "Do we has to go home now? Uncle Deanie's coming tonight and I need his help wif something."

"We can stay, baby." Sam said. "We were planning on visiting uncle Bobby anyway."

"Yay!" Kayla said. "Come play with me, Daddy!"

"Lead the way."

As Sam kicked a soccer ball around the front yard with Kayla, John and Leslie brought Jess up to speed with their current problem. Jess was stumped.

"Maybe Dean can get her to talk."

When Dean got to the house later that night, Kayla was waiting. When he was finished talking to all the adults, Kayla walked up to him and grabbed his hand. She pulled on it, and Dean picked her up so she could whisper in his ear.

"I need your help with something."

Intrigued, Dean walked to Kayla's room with her. "What's up, kiddo?"

"Shut the door, please. I don't want anybody to hear us." Once Dean had shut the door, Kayla said seriously, "I need your help wif something, but you got to promise not to laugh at me."

"I wouldn't laugh at you, kiddo. What's going on?"

"Santa's trying to take grandma away. I need your help to make him stay away."

A stunned Dean found he could only open and close his mouth.

"Uncle Deanie, this is serious! I need you, I can't do it by myself!"

Dean remembered his promise not to laugh a few seconds too late. "Kiddo, I need some help here. Why do you think Santa's gonna take grandma away?"

"I seen him. Last night after grandma and grandpa put me to bed. He came in the living room and he kissed grandma."

"Are you sure it wasn't grandpa?" Dean asked.

"No, it wasn't grandpa!" Kayla said, offended he didn't believe her. Why would she lie about something so bad? "And you promised not to laugh at me!"

"I'm not." Dean protested, even though he knew he was.

"Yes, you are." Kayla said, deeply hurt and upset. She turned away from Dean and crossed her arms, and broke Dean's heart when he saw a tear streak down. "Leave me 'lone."

"Kayla, kid, I'm sorry…"

"Go 'way." Kayla said again. No one was going to help her, and her grandma was going to be taken away.

Now Dean really felt like a jerk. "I'm sorry."

"Leave me 'lone. No one's gonna help me."

Dean decided he needed help with this one. He reluctantly left Kayla crying on the bed and headed back downstairs to the rest of the adults in the house. Sam was saying something, and immediately stopped when he saw the look on Dean's face.

"Dean, what is it?"

"I, um, figured out what's wrong with Kayla."

"What?" Leslie asked. "What is it?"

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but, she's convinced you're going to run off with Santa."

There was complete silence for a full five seconds as Sam and Jess processed what Dean had just told them. But a look of horror slowly crossed the faces of John, Leslie, and Bobby. Leslie was the first to start laughing, followed by John, then Bobby.

"Guys? What's going on?"

"She…" Leslie could barely speak for laughing. "She must have been watching from the staircase."

"Watching what?" Sam asked.

"Bobby was planning to dress up like Santa for Kayla on Christmas Eve. He was showing us his suit and he kissed Leslie on the cheek." John explained. "Kayla must have been watching, trying to sneak a glimpse of Santa or something."

"Balls!" Bobby said. "I never meant to scare the kid."

"It's okay, Bobby." Jess said. "But we have to fix this. If we don't, she'll be scared all the way to Christmas."

"Yeah, I know."

Kayla was certain she'd been in her room by herself for hours. None of the adults were going to believe her, so she'd have to do it herself. She'd have to keep grandma safe. If she didn't, Santa would take grandma away to the North Pole and she'd never see her again. Before she could come up with a plan, Daddy was at her door. 

"Hey. There's someone here to see you."

"Who is it?" Kayla asked.

"Come on and see."

Kayla walked downstairs with Daddy, and when she got to the kitchen, there he was. Santa. Kayla grabbed Daddy's hand for courage and said loudly,

"Go away! Leave my grandma alone!"

"Honey, listen. There's been a misunderstanding." Sam said.

"What you mean?" Kayla asked.

"Ho ho ho, hello Kayla. Your uncle tells me I scared you last night."

"Yeah, you's trying to take my grandma from me." Kayla said. "She's my grandma, you can't have her."

"Kayla, Santa was just visiting us." John said. "He's a family friend. He just gave your grandma a kiss because he hadn't seen her in a long time. That's all."

Still doubtful, Kayla turned to Santa and asked, "You not trying to take grandma to the North Pole wif you?"

"No, never." Bobby promised.

"You won't take her away from me?" Kayla asked.

"Kayla." Leslie bent down and placed a hand on Kayla's cheek. "No one could ever take me away from you. If they so much as tried, grandpa would fight heaven and earth to get me back."

"You promise?" Kayla asked. "Nobody? Never?"

"Never, my sweet girl. Never." 

"Okay, grandma." Kayla said, releasing Sam's hand hugging her grandma's neck.

"You feel better?"

"I do." Kayla said. She turned to Santa and said, "Sorry, Santa."

"Ho ho, it's alright."

"Grandpa? You're friends with Santa? Really?" Kayla asked.

"Really." John said with a wink.

"We all are." Sam said, thinking that letting Kayla believe it might help later on.

"Oh." Kayla said. She turned to Santa and said, "I been good. Mostly."

Everyone laughed, and Santa reassured Kayla, "I know that. I'm afraid I have to be going now. Get back to the North Pole. Busy time of year, you know?"

Kayla ran over and climbed into Santa's lap, then kissed him on the cheek. "Merry Christmas, Santa."


	6. Chapter 6

Jess had really, really hoped the dreaded 's' word wouldn't come up at the doctor's office that day. Kayla had done so well all day, but it happened. Their usual pediatrician was out of the office that day, and a different doctor had taken his place. A doctor that didn't know not to use that dreaded word.

"No shots, mommy!"

"Honey, you need to have this shot. It'll be over quick, I promise." Jess said, trying her best to be soothing.

Kayla, trying to be brave, said, "You'll be right here?"

"I will be right here. I swear. And if you sit still, we'll get ice cream after we leave."

Jess felt like a terrible mother resorting to bribery, but she was desperate. She wanted Kayla to have a flu shot, but it was proving harder than she thought it would be. Hopefully, though, after the flu shot, Kayla would be back to normal and the entire shot fiasco would be behind them.

Hopefully.

The doctor came inside with the needle, and Kayla did well enough. Sitting in Jess's lap, she only cried a little when she was stuck. After some cuddles from mommy and a sticker and a lollipop from the nurse, Kayla seemed okay. Then the doctor dropped the bad news.

"I'd like you to take Kayla across the street."

"Why? Is everything okay?" Jess asked.

"It's just a precaution, but you mentioned that Kayla's had a poor appetite and has been more tired than normal lately. I'd like to test her iron to see if she's anemic."

"And if it is?"

"We'll put her on an iron supplement and hopefully that'll be enough to help her to feel better." the doctor explained.

 _Great,_ Jess thought. _A blood draw. Just what I need._

An impatient Kayla spoke up from the chair next to the door of the exam room. "Mommy, can we go for ice cream now?"

"Not yet, honey. I'm afraid we have to go visit another doctor." Jess said.

"But what about ice cream? You promised!" Kayla said with a pout.

"We will, sweetie, I promise. One more stop, okay?"

"Okay." Kayla said reluctantly.

"That's my good girl." Jess said. "Come on."

Jess walked across the street with Kayla, hoping and praying she'd have a better reaction to the blood draw than she'd had to the flu shot. She was waiting until the very last moment to tell Kayla she'd have to deal with more needles. There was a bit of a wait for the blood draw, so Jess and Kayla played a game of twenty questions in the waiting room. Kayla giggled when her mother couldn't guess that she was thinking of a single blue lego on the table in the children's play area. Just as Jess was about to concede to Kayla, the nurse came out.

"Kayla Winchester?"

"Mommy, what's this doctor for? Am I okay?" Kayla asked.

"You are gonna be just fine." Jess assured her as they stood up. "This doctor's just making sure."

"Okay." Kayla said, taking her mother's hand and walking back with her.

The two were led to a small exam room, where there was a nurse and an IV technician. Jess asked if it was okay to hold Kayla while they did their 'test', and the nurse agreed. Jess pulled Kayla into her lap, and prepared herself for the coming onslaught.

"Listen, kiddo, you're here for another shot."

"What? No!" Kayla whined.

"Shhh. Listen. The nurse here needs to take a little blood from you so they can test it."

"My blood?" Kayla said. "I need my blood. They can't have it." 

"I promise they're only gonna take a little." Jess said. "Just close your eyes and lean against mommy and it'll be all over soon, okay?"

"No…" Kayla said, pulling her arms toward her chest, trying to keep it away from the nurse and the technician.

Jess seriously considered calling Sam or her mother to come to the hospital. She hated seeing Kayla upset, and knew that getting Kayla to sit still for the blood draw was going to be taxing. Jess kissed the top of Kayla's hair, something she'd done when Kayla was a baby that would calm her when she was upset or sick. It worked now, at least temporarily.

"I'm scared, mommy."

"I know. Mommy's got you, okay? Lean back and close your eyes like I said. You want me to sing to you? Like Daddy when you can't sleep?" Jess asked.

"Okay." Kayla said. "Yes, please."

"Okay. Come on." Kayla leaned back and Jess put both arms around her waist. "It's okay. Mommy's here."

Kayla felt the nurse take her arm, and she started shaking. Kayla felt terrible. She was hot, was getting a headache, and her insides felt like they were shaking. The needle this time hurt a lot more than the one at the first doctor's office. But it didn't stop there. The nurse stuck her three more times. Despite what mommy had told her, Kayla snatched her arm back and refused to let them touch her again.

"Stop sticking me! It hurts!"

"Kayla, I promise it's almost over, sweetheart." the nurse said. "We're gonna try your other arm now, okay?"

"NO!" Kayla screamed.

"Kayla, stop. I know you're hurting, but we have to do this." Jess said. She tried her best to be stern, but she just didn't have it in her at the moment. Jess took a hand and wiped at Kayla's face. "Come on, it's almost over."

"Hurts, mommy." Kayla whimpered, taking her mother's heart and shattering it into a million pieces.

"I know. I know it hurts, baby, and I'm so sorry. Just, please, for mommy, be brave and let's finish this, okay? I promise, the second it's over we'll go get that ice cream."

"No ice cream. Just wan' my grandma."

"Okay. We'll go see grandma as soon as this is over. I swear. Just please, honey, let them finish. Okay?" Jess begged. 

Miraculously, Kayla complied, and after two more sticks, the blood was drawn and a miserable Kayla wouldn't let Jess go or stop crying. She had to pry Kayla off her waist to get her in the car and into her seat, and Jess decided to call Leslie and ask that she go to their house rather than taking Kayla to hers. By the time they arrived, Kayla was a mess-shaking, crying, and complaining of a massive headache.

"What in the world is going on?" Leslie asked as she met them outside. "What happened to you?"

"We've had a rough day." Jess said. "She got a flu shot at the pediatrician's office, then had to go across the street and get a blood test. They couldn't find a vein and she got stuck six times."

"Oh, you poor baby." Leslie said, reaching in to pick up Kayla. "Jess, she has a fever. A high one, from what it feels like."

"The doctor said it was a side effect of the flu shot. That she could basically have a mini flu for a couple days."

"Gramma!" a sobbing Kayla said, crying so hard she started to cough.

"She's been begging for you since we were at the doctor's."

"Shhh, grandma's here, Kayla bug." Leslie said. "Come on, let's put you to bed."

"Where's Daddy?"

"Daddy's still at work, kiddo. You want me to call him?" Jess asked.

"Want my daddy." Kayla said. "Want daddy."

"I'll call him, baby."

"Come on. I'll put you in a warm bath while mommy calls daddy. That'll help you feel better." Leslie said.

"Thanks, mom." Jess said.

Leslie headed to the bathroom with Kayla hanging onto her, singing softly to her as she dug out fresh pajamas. When Jess heard the bathtub running, she picked up her cellphone and dialed Sam.

"Hey, you. What's up?"

"Hey. When you coming home?" Jess asked eagerly.

"Is everything okay?" Sam asked. "How did Kayla's doctor appointment go?"

"Not good. They gave her a flu shot and she had to go across the street to get some blood drawn."

"Blood drawn? What the hell happened?" Sam asked, worried.

"It's a long story. But look, she's having some bad side effects to that flu shot and she's begging for you. When should you be home?"

"Umm, I'm almost done here. I was going to catch up on some paperwork, but I can do that later." Sam said. "Do I need to bring anything home?"

"Um, something for kid's fever. I think we gave her the rest of it the last time she was sick."

"I'm on it. You okay until I get there?" Sam asked.

"Yeah. Mom's here giving her a bath. I was gonna fix her some soup."

"Good thinking. I'll finish up here and be home in an hour." Sam said.

When Sam got back, he heard Kayla before he saw her. He could hear her crying from the front door, and walked inside to find her sitting on the couch, already ready for bed, weakly refusing to eat any more of the soup Jess tried to coax into her.

"Daddy!"

"Hey, bug." Sam said gently. "Mommy says you're not feeling too good."

"They gived me a bunch of shots and they hut a lot and now I feels sick." Kayla whimpered pitifully.

"Oh, I know." Sam said. He put the bag from the pharmacy down and walked over to the couch. He kissed her forehead, partially to comfort her, partially to gauge her fever. "I'll be right back."

"Where you goin'?"

"I'm gonna give you something for your headache. It'll help you sleep too."

"Can I sleep with you? Please?" Kayla asked.

"Sure, honey. Be right back." Sam went into the kitchen and prepared a dose of the medicine for Kayla to take. "Here you go, baby."

Kayla saw what was in her father's hand and cried all over again. "No!"

"Kayla, come on, honey, this'll help you sleep…"

"No! You said no more shots!" Kayla said.

"Honey, this isn't…" Sam started to say, then realized why she was afraid. He was giving her the medicine in a syringe. "Sweetie, it's not a shot. See? There's no needle. It's just to help you take the medicine. That's it."

"No shot, Daddy. No shot."

"Kayla, it's not a shot. Look." Sam stuck his finger on the tip of the syringe and showed it to her. "It's not a shot."

"No shot." Kayla repeated, shaking her head.

"Kayla, do you want us to put it in a spoon?" Jess asked. "Or in the cup that came on the medicine?"

"Cup." Kayla said. "Please. No shot."

"Okay." Sam said. "Hang on." Sam transferred the medicine to the small plastic cup that came with the bottle and Kayla took it with no protest. "There you go. Good girl, Kayla."

"Daddy, you sleep with me now?"

"I sure will, honey. Come on." Sam picked up Kayla, who was already drifting off to sleep. "Say goodnight to mommy and grandma."

"Night, mommy. Night, grandma."

"Goodnight, baby." Jess said. "Love you."

"Night, honey. I'll come check on you tomorrow." Leslie said. "I love you."

Kayla murmured something that was indecipherable, slipping deeper and deeper into sleep. Sam started to carry her to her bed, then decided against it. He laid her down in his and Jess's bed in case she woke up during the night sick. He didn't have to keep his promise now to sleep with her, since she was already dead to the world, but he laid down with her anyway. After a few minutes, he realized he was still in his work clothes. Carefully sliding off the bed, Sam found Jess in the living room crying softly on the couch.

"Hey, what's going on?"

"It's just been a bad day." Jess said. "I should've called you earlier."

"What happened?" Sam asked. "I thought she was just going in for a flu shot?" When Jess gave him the whole story, Sam was shaking his head. "Wow. Poor kid."

"I just keep hearing her scream. She was so scared." Jess said.

"Hey. You had to do it. You did good, I'm proud of you." Sam said comfortingly. "If it'll make you feel better, I'll start going with you if she'll need shots."

"Yes. Definitely. Did you see the way she reacted to the syringe?"

"I hope today didn't give her a phobia of needles." Sam said. "But if it did, we'll figure that out too."

"Yeah. Why don't you get out of your work stuff? Let's spend a little while together. I have a feeling she'll wake up sometime in the night."

"Yeah, me too." Sam said. "I'll be back." Sam changed quickly and checked on Kayla. Her fever was going down, and she was sleeping soundly in her mommy and daddy's bed. "I love you, my little Kayla bug. Daddy's here if you need me."


	7. Chapter 7

\"Mommy?"

"Yes?" Jess asked as she continued picking up the living room.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"You just did." Jess said with a smirk.

"Mommmmyyy…" Kayla said, exasperated.

"Yes, you may ask me a question."

"How much do you love me?" Kayla asked seriously.

Jess, surprised at the question, stopped what she was doing and stared at Kayla. "What?"

"How much do you love me?" Kayla asked again.

"Why do you ask, honey?"

"I just wanted to know." Kayla said.

"Are you doubting I do love you?" Jess asked.

"No. Just want to know." Kayla said.

"Honey, I love you a lot." Jess answered. "You know that."

"Yeah. But I want to know how much."

"Okay." Jess said. She looked around to try and get an idea, then saw through the open window that it was a clear night. "Come here. Come outside with me."

Jess took Kayla's hand and walked with her outside to the front porch. The driveway looked empty without Sam's car there. He was on a business trip just out of town, and was due back early the next morning. Although Jess missed him, she relished the alone time with Kayla. Jess sat on the top step, next to the banister, and Kayla promptly climbed into her lap.

"Look up at the sky. You see all those stars?"

"Yeah." Kayla said.

"How many stars are up there?" Jess asked.

"I can't count that high, mommy." Kayla said.

"I love you more than all those stars up there in the sky."

"Really?" Kayla said.

"That's right." Jess said.

"Wow." Kayla whispered. "I love you too mommy."

"Awww." Jess said. She wrapped her arms around Kayla and kissed her cheek. "What did I ever do to deserve you?"

"Can we stay out here for a while, mommy? Please?"

"It's time for you to go to bed soon." Jess said.

"Pleeeeeassse?" Kayla begged.

Jess smiled. "Sure. Get up for a second. I've got an idea."

When Sam was pulling into the driveway an hour later, home early from his business trip, he found Jess and Kayla in the yard in a lawn chair. Kayla was fast asleep, wrapped up in a blanket in her mother's lap. Jess's eyes were heavy, and when she saw the headlights from Sam's car, she pulled the blanket over Kayla to try and stop her from waking up. Sam opened the car door and came over slowly.

"What's going on?" he whispered as he leaned over to kiss Jess.

"Kay and I had to have a talk." Jess said. "I'll tell you about it later. Can you take her to bed?"

"Sure."

Sam lifted the sleeping Kayla from Jess's lap and walked inside with her. Kayla whined a little when she felt herself leave the warmth of her mother's lap, but calmed down at Sam's whispered "shh, Daddy's got you". Kayla sleepily slipped her arms around his neck as Sam carried her down the hall towards her room. Sam placed her carefully on the bed and tucked her in. Kayla grabbed her teddy bear, a present she'd gotten from her grandmother when recovering from the flu a month earlier. After watching her for a minute, Sam kissed her cheek and said quietly,

"Love you, Kayla bug."

"Love you too, Da'e." a very sleepy Kayla slurred. She said something else, but the only word Sam could make out was 'stars'.

"Stars?" Sam muttered.

"I'll explain. Come on, come to bed." Jess said from the doorway.

"Alright, I'm coming." Sam said, with one final kiss for Kayla. "Sleep well, sweet girl."


	8. Chapter 8

Kayla Winchester had a pretty good life. She was eight years old and in the third grade. She was a few inches shorter than the rest of her classmates, but as uncle Dean put it, 'you're just tall enough to teach them something when they pick on you'. She was almost a straight-A student. She struggled with science, but Daddy was good at it, so he usually helped her out.

Slowly, Kayla noticed, things started to change. Mommy usually worked three days a week, time that Kayla would spend with grandma. But mommy started to work less and less, and was home more. But she didn't pay as much attention to Kayla. Kayla sometimes had to call Jess three or four times before she'd get her attention. It was the same, but to a lesser degree, with her dad and grandmother. After nearly a month of dealing with everyone's inattentiveness, Kayla decided to do something about it.

She started on Monday. Daddy had put a calendar in her room, and every day that passed, she marked it off. Tuesday passed, then Wednesday, then Thursday. With each day, Kayla grew more and more upset. Why was no one noticing? Didn't they miss her? Friday came. She got home from school and did her homework. At five o'clock, Daddy came home from work and told her to get her shoes on. She was going to her grandma's. Kayla got her sneakers on and sat on her bed, waiting on Mommy and Daddy to tell her it was time to leave. Finally, Daddy came to the door, laughing and grinning down the hall at Mommy.

"You ready to go…baby, what is it?"

Kayla wondered at first why Daddy sounded so scared, then she realized she was crying. She wiped her face and turned away, not wanting to look at him.

"Kayla, honey, come on, talk to me. What is it?"

Kayla just shook her head. Sam walked inside and sat next to her on the bed. He tried to hug her, but Kayla didn't let him. 

"Kayla, honey, please. What's wrong? Why are you crying? Do you not want to go to grandma's?"

Kayla shook her head again.

"Why are you not talking? Are you mad at me or something?" Sam said. "Honey, please. Talk to me. What's going on?"

"I haven't talked all week."

Sam was surprised at how hoarse Kayla sounded. Was she sick? "What was that?"

"I haven't talked all week." Kayla said. "Since Monday."

"Honey, that's not possible." Sam said.

"Yes, it is. I haven't said one thing to you or mommy all week. And you haven't said anything."

"Honey, we've talked to you." Sam said.

" _You_ have." Kayla said. "But I didn't say anything back to you and you didn't care."

"What's going on? We ready to go?" Jess had joined them and was impatiently waiting to go.

"Jess, we've got a problem." Sam said. "Kayla said she hasn't talked to either of us all week."

"What?" Jess asked. "Really?"

"Told you!" Kayla said sadly. "You didn't even see it!"

"Oh, honey, we're sorry." Jess said, walking in to join them on Kayla's bed. "Why didn't you say anything?"

Kayla glared at Jess and Jess read between the lines. _That was the point, getting you to notice me._

"Sorry. Dumb question." Jess said. "Why did you do it?"

"Because you guys stopped listening to me. You're always off somewhere by yourself talking. I have to call you over and over to get you to even look at me. You don't tuck me in anymore, and you don't ask me about school…." Kayla said.

"Okay, honey, we get it." Jess said. "I'm sorry, sweetie. Daddy and I have been pretty distracted this week."

"Distracted by what?" Kayla asked. "Is something going on?"

Sam and Jess shared a look between themselves, one that Kayla would call as an adult their 'talk without talking' look. They nodded and Jess took Kayla's hand.

"We've got something to tell you, sweetie." Jess said.

"What?"

"Well…" Jess said, looking to Sam who seemed just as excited as she was. "Mommy's having another baby."

"What?" Kayla asked. She looked at Jess's stomach and placed her other hand there. "There's a baby in there?"

"There is." Jess said.

"Is it a girl or boy?"

"We don't know yet. We won't know that for a few more weeks." Jess said. "What do you think?"

"Wow." Kayla said.

"Pretty cool, huh?" Sam asked.

"I guess." Kayla said. "Do I have to go to grandma's tonight?"

"You don't want to?"

"I want to spend time with you guys." Kayla said. "Please?" 

"I guess we can do date night next week. What do you think?" Jess asked, looking to Sam.

"I think you're right." Sam agreed. "Why don't you call your mom and Kayla and I'll start a movie."

"Deal!" Kayla and Jess said at the same time.

Though Kayla felt better for one night, she started feeling scared again the next day. Everything moved really fast. Jess found out she was having a girl, and the baby's first name was decided as Mary. The bedroom next to Kayla's, which before had been used as a storage room, was emptied out and Sam and Dean started to create a nursery. Kayla noticed that Jess' energy started to go down, and she didn't want to do as much as before. One night, towards the end of the school year, with only four weeks left until Jess was due to give birth, Dean found Kayla alone in her room.

"Hey, kiddo. What's going on?"

"Hey, uncle Deanie." Kayla said.

"You okay? Why aren't you in the living room with everyone?"

"Just wanted to be alone." Kayla said simply.

"I see." Dean answered. "Can I be alone with you?"

"Sure."

"So, what's been going on?" Dean asked. "You doing good in school?"

"Yeah." Kayla said. She waited an awkward moment, then said, "Uncle Deanie? If I tell you something, you promise not to tell Mommy and Daddy?"

"Sure. What's up?"

"I don't want mommy to have this baby." Kayla said. "I'm scared of it."

"You're scared of the baby?"

"No, just what's gonna happen once the baby gets here." Kayla explained. "Mommy and Daddy are gonna like the baby more than me."

"What makes you think that?" Dean asked. "I happen to think you're the coolest kid on the planet."

"Thanks. But I live with Mommy and Daddy, not you." Kayla said sadly. "I just wish they'd let me help a little more."

"Did you tell them that?"

"I tried. It's hard to get them to listen to me." Kayla said.

"Listen, kiddo. I know how you feel. I know it's scary to get a new baby in the family."

"You do?" Kayla asked.

"Yeah. I'm your dad's big brother, remember?"

"Oh, yeah." Kayla said. "What was it like when Daddy came home form the hospital?"

"Well, at first, he looked like a little red, wrinkly, crying potato." Dean said, making Kayla giggle. "But after a while, he got bigger, and more fun to be around."

"Your mommy and daddy didn't stop paying attention to you?"

"Well, yeah, at first they did. But it wasn't on purpose, kiddo. You gotta remember-babies need a lot of attention. They can't do anything at all without their mom and dad's help."

"I can help too." Kayla said.

"I know you can, kiddo. Just give your mom and dad some time, okay? They'll get back to normal. Till then, just help them out as much as you can." Dean said. "And if you ever feel like you need somebody to talk to, you can call me, or your grandpa, or your grandma. Okay?"

"Okay, uncle Deanie. Thanks." Kayla said.

Sam suddenly appeared at the door, panic stricken. "Dean, I need you to stay here with Kayla."

"What's wrong?"

"Jess's water broke." Sam said.

"Is she okay?" Kayla asked.

"She'll be fine. It just means the baby's coming." Sam explained.

"WHAT?!"

Kayla jumped off the bed, pushed past her father and uncle and ran into the living room. Jess was sitting on the end of the couch, breathing very hard and very fast.

"Mommy? Are you okay?"

Jess looked up and tried to push past the pain of the contraction she was feeling. She could hear Sam down the hall, packing things in a bag and Dean talking to him as he did so. When the contraction passed, Jess held out a hand to the now crying Kayla. Kayla grabbed Jess's hand and held it tight, scared to death that something bad was happening to her mommy.

"Mommy's okay, sweetie. The baby's on her way."

"But you're hurting. You're crying." Kayla said. "Is the baby doing that?"

"She doesn't mean to, honey. It hurts to have a baby. But it's worth it." Jess said. "It'll be over soon and your little sister'll be here."

"Alright. I got it. Time to go." Sam said, a duffel bag on one shoulder and a blanket under one arm.

"No! You said it wouldn't be 'til I got out of school. Mommy, don't go!"

"Kayla, we don't have time for this…" Sam started to say.

"Sam, it's fine. One second." Jess said. "Kayla, listen, baby. Mary's decided she doesn't want to wait. She's ready to come now. It happens sometimes. It's not bad, it just means she's coming early."

"But…"

"Shh. Listen, honey. Daddy and I have to go. Uncle Dean's gonna stay here with you. I need you to stay here and wait for us. Okay?" Jess said patiently.

"When'll you come back?" Kayla asked.

"I'm not sure, honey. It could be a couple of days. But after the baby's here, Daddy will come back and get you and bring you to the hospital to meet her. Okay?"

"Okay, mommy." Kayla said. "Will it hurt you if I give you a hug?"

"Never."

Kayla hugged her mom, but a bad feeling took hold on her. She knew that something bad was about to happen. Daddy had to pry her off of Mommy and get her to let them go. Kayla cried the whole night, worried about her mom and wanting to be there with her. It didn't help that grandma Leslie wouldn't come over. Whenever Kayla felt scared, she had always been able to go to her grandma. Uncle Dean kept telling her everything would be okay, but she didn't believe him. A whole day passed before Kayla got any news. Grandpa John came and told her that the baby was here, but that Kayla would have to wait at least another whole day to go to the hospital. Kayla felt like screaming. What were they hiding from her? Where was her mommy? Why couldn't Kayla talk to her? Much to her frustration, uncle Dean made her go to school, but she couldn't concentrate. She hadn't seen or heard from her mommy in two whole days, and after she cried in class, she found herself in the office waiting to be picked up.

Grandpa came in, and Kayla expected to be in trouble. But grandpa didn't look mad or annoyed, he just seemed worried and sad. Which made Kayla worried and sad. She didn't say anything, just ran up and hugged her grandpa tight.

"I'm sorry, grandpa, I just…"

"Shh. It's okay. You're not in trouble." Grandpa John said soothingly. "We should have known better than to think you could concentrate in school."

"Where's mommy?"

"Come on, kiddo. Let's get in the car first. Grab your backpack." John said.

Kayla, mad and frustrated that no one was telling her anything, burst into angry tears right where she was standing. "Where's my mommy?! Why won't anybody tell me?"

"Kayla Ellen, I know you're upset, but you still need to listen to me. Get in the car. Now."

"No!" Kayla said, stomping her foot. "I want my mommy and I want her now!"

John's patience had increased a hundredfold ever since his days of raising Sam and Dean, but one thing he had never been able to tolerate was outright defiance. Before thinking about it, he grabbed Kayla's arm and spun her around, landing one firm swat to the back of Kayla's leg.

"Kayla Ellen Winchester, if I have to tell you again, I will drag you out the door and give you a spanking in the car before we go home. Do you understand me?"

"I just want my mommy." Kayla said. "Why won't anybody tell me where she is?"

Kayla started crying, weeping really, and John immediately felt, as Dean would so delicately put it, like a dick. He knew the tears were from much more than him swatting her, and the spanking threat just made him wish he could go back in time. Kayla's crying was starting to draw stares, but John took a breath before he spoke again.

"Kayla, I'm sorry, honey. I know you're worried. But listen to me, okay? Your daddy's at your house right now. He wants to be the one to tell you what's going on. I just need you to get in the car so I can take you home. Will you please do that for me?"

"You promise to tell me what's going on?" Kayla asked.

"Your daddy will. As soon as I get you home. I promise."

"Okay." Kayla said.

"Good girl." John said. "Grab your backpack and let's go."

The ride back home felt like it took hours, but when Kayla got there, she was excited to see her daddy's car in the driveway. The second John turned his car off, Kayla unbuckled herself, opened the door, and ran into the house. She got out of the car so fast that she left the door open. When she opened the front door and walked into the living room, Kayla smiled when she found Sam sitting on the couch.

"Daddy!"

"Hey, bug." Sam said. "Come here."

Kayla ran to Sam and gave him the biggest hug she could. She hoped that, if Daddy was here, it meant that Mommy would be okay and would be home soon. But there was something in the way Daddy held her. It was too tight, like he was afraid. Like she held on to him when she had a nightmare.

"Daddy, where's Mommy? Is she okay?"

Sam took a deep breath and pulled Kayla away from him. "No, honey, she's not."

"What? What happened?"

Sam swallowed hard and broke the news he'd been dreading telling Kayla for hours. "She had the baby, and the baby's fine. But there was a problem with Mommy. She, um…she started bleeding. A lot. She lost a lot of blood and now…"

"Now what?"

"She's in what's called a coma, Kayla." Sam said. "It means that mommy's very sick and she might not wake up."


	9. Chapter 9

"What do you mean she might not wake up?"

Sam sighed. He'd known telling Kayla would be rough, but the look of fear on her face was overwhelming. He'd waited a day to tell Kayla the truth because he was hoping that Jess would be awake by then. But the doctor had confirmed his fear. Jess wasn't recovering. She was stuck in limbo, and whether she woke or not all depended on how hard she fought.

"Honey, like I said, Mommy's very sick. Her body's shut down right now to try and rest to get better."

"I want to see her." Kayla said.

"No." Sam said. "I'm sorry, honey. Mommy's not in the maternity ward anymore, where she went to have the baby. She's in a place called the ICU. You can't visit there unless you're a grown up."

"NO!" Kayla shouted. "No, she's my mommy. I should get to see her."

"I'm sorry, Kayla, but the answer is no." Sam said, trying to be firm with her but failing miserably. "Mommy needs to rest right now."

"She wouldn't leave me alone if it was me that sick." Kayla objected.

"You're right. She wouldn't, and neither would I. But Mommy's not alone. Grandma's there with her right now, and after I bring you back tonight, I will be too."

"I thought you said I couldn't go." Kayla said as she wiped her face.

"To see Mommy, no. But to see Mary, yes. Grandpa will take you and then the three of us will get some dinner together. Uncle Dean'll bring you back to the house tonight."

"I don't want to see Mary. She made Mommy sick." Kayla said. "I want my mommy."

"Honey, Mary didn't make Mommy sick."

"Yes, she did. Mommy was fine until Mary got here. I don't want Mary to come home. Not unless Mommy does too." Kayla said.

"Kayla, STOP IT!" Sam said. "Don't say that, do you understand me? Don't ever say that!"

"Sam." John spoke from the chair next to the couch. "She doesn't understand."

"I do understand. Mommy might never come home and I'll never see her again."

"Baby…" Sam said, reaching out to hug her again, only to be promptly pushed aside.

"Leave me alone!"

Kayla ran to her room crying, leaving a scared, hurting Sam behind. John was stuck in which direction he should go. He wanted to comfort Kayla, reassure her that everything would be okay, but he didn't know that for sure. Sam needed comfort too, but John knew all too well there was nothing he could say to Sam that might make the slightest bit of difference in how he felt. It had been years since he'd lost Mary, but the hole in his heart where she had been had never closed. He could only imagine the hell Sam was going through, wondering if he'd be feeling the same way soon.

"I'll go talk to her, Sam."

"No, I will." Sam said. "Just give me a minute."

"She just wants her mother, Sam. She's not trying to be…"

"I know." Sam said, cutting him off. "I know." Sam stood up and walked down to Kayla's room. She was sitting on her bed, holding a picture of her and Jess taken a few weeks before, and crying. "Kayla."

"Leave me alone." Kayla said again, though it wasn't nearly as forceful this time as it had been in the living room.

"I will if you really want me too. But if I leave, I'm going back to the hospital and you won't get to go with me. I was really hoping you'd come meet your sister and eat dinner with me tonight." Sam said. "I could use your company."

Kayla looked up, surprised that Sam wasn't mad at her for stomping out of the living room. Her crying, pained eyes bore holes into Sam's soul, reminding him far too much of Jess.

"Where was that place you said mommy was?"

"The ICU. It means Intensive Care Unit." Sam explained.

"Why do you have to be a grownup to see someone there?" Kayla asked. "She's my mommy, I should get to see her."

"Can I sit with you?" Sam asked, and Kayla nodded, her shoulder length brown hair bouncing slightly. Sam took his place on her bed. "I know it's unfair. But the doctors are worried that if you go see Mommy you'll catch whatever germs might be floating around the ICU. There's more than other areas of the hospital. You might get sick too."

"But you said she might never wake up." Kayla said. "Does that mean Mommy might die?"

Sam swallowed hard. The possibility had, of course, come to him, but he hadn't faced it yet. He just couldn't imagine raising the girls alone. It was too much to bear. He knew he'd have Leslie, John, Dean, and Bobby to help, but it just wouldn't be the same. Nothing would ever be all right again. At first, he wanted to snap at Kayla like he'd done in the living room when she blamed Mary for Jess being sick. But he didn't. And, as hard and painful as it was, he had to be honest with her.

"She might, baby." Sam said. "But we can't worry about what might happen. Mommy might just as easily get better and come home soon."

"I don't care if I get sick too." Kayla said. "It's worth it if I get to see her. Please, Daddy. Please. I can't let her die and not tell her that I love her."

Sam swallowed. Kayla pulled at his heartstrings the same way her mother did. "I promise I will tell Mommy every day how much you love her. But I _do_ care if you get sick. I'm sorry, baby, I can't let you go see her." When Kayla started to cry all over again, Sam got an idea. "How about this? After uncle Dean brings you home tonight, I'll call and let you talk to Mommy on the phone."

"Can she hear me?" 

"Yes." Sam said, wishing he felt half as confident as he let on. "She can't talk to you, but she can hear you."

"You promise you'll let me talk to her?" Kayla asked. "No matter what?"

"No matter what." Sam promised. "Will you come with me? Please?"

Kayla had thought about asking Daddy to video call her, but a plan was forming in her mind. She knew she'd get in big trouble for it, but she didn't care. Kayla knew that if it was her, bleeding so much she couldn't wake up, and the doctors told her mommy to stay away, the doctors would be the ones bleeding next. Kayla wasn't big enough to fight adults, so she'd just have to be extra careful that night.

"I'll come with you, Daddy. But can we eat first? I'm really hungry."

Sam agreed, and Kayla insisted on riding to the hospital with him. She asked John to get Leslie to come and join them for dinner too. She did want to see her grandma, but she knew that if anyone was waiting in mommy's room when she got there, they'd turn her around and send her back to Daddy.

"Don't be scared, Mommy. You'll only be by yourself for a few minutes. I'm coming, no matter what."

An hour later, Kayla's plan was in place. Grandma, grandpa, and Daddy were eating a late lunch with her in the hospital cafeteria. Kayla nearly deserted her plan. Sam looked so lost and lonely that she didn't want to make him even more upset. But she had to get to Mommy. She couldn't stand the thought of Mommy being in that room and not hearing her voice, or feeling Kayla's hug and kiss. Daddy would eventually forgive her. She had to believe that.

"Daddy, I need to go to the bathroom."

"Okay, sweetie. I'm sure grandma'll take you." Sam said.

"It's right across the hall. I can go by myself." Kayla said with a slight whine, praying her tactic would work.

"Kayla, we talked about this…" John warned.

"It's okay, Dad. Me and J…Kayla can go alone. We have a deal." Sam said. He turned to Kayla and said, "What's the deal?"

"Go straight to the bathroom, do not go anywhere but the bathroom, and come straight back." Kayla recited.

"Or?"

"Take a trip back to the bathroom and come out with a sore butt." Kayla said with a sour expression.

When Kayla noticed her grandfather nodding approvingly, her sour expression deepened. She hated having to repeat what she thought was a dumb rule in front of her grandparents. Kayla was old enough to use the bathroom by herself. But now wasn't the time to argue. She had to get away.

"You've got three minutes, then I'm sending grandma in to look for you." Sam said.

"I'm supposed to get five." Kayla reminded him.

"Four." Sam said. "And not a minute more, young lady."

"Yes, sir." Kayla said.

Finally, she was gone. She walked towards the bathroom and went inside, knowing full well her father was watching. She peered around the corner of the doorframe, and when Sam's back was turned, she made her move. She darted out from behind the doorway of the bathroom and down the hall. She was free.

She was free, but she didn't have a lot of time. She knew that, at exactly the four-minute mark, someone would come looking for her. Kayla kept walking down the hall, not stopping until she came to an elevator. Kayla looked at the sign on the wall, and she got excited when she saw it.

INTENSIVE CARE-FIFTH FLOOR

"Going up?"

Kayla jumped. She hadn't heard anyone come up behind her. But there was a doctor, an older man that looked familiar to Kayla, but that she couldn't quite place. She didn't know why, but she wasn't scared. He seemed friendly enough. She knew she shouldn't talk to strangers, but she needed help.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I'm going up too."

"Yeah. I've got to go to the ICU." Kayla said.

"What a coincidence. I'm headed there too." The doctor pressed the upward arrow and they waited together for the elevator. "I'm Lucky."

"I'm not supposed to talk to strangers." Kayla said.

"That's a good rule. Very smart." Lucky said. The elevator doors opened and Lucky motioned inside. "After you."

"Thank you." Kayla said. When they were inside, Kayla couldn't help but ask, "Can I press the button?"

"You certainly may." Lucky smiled and pointed at the 'five' on the wall. "That one right there."

Kayla pressed it, and couldn't help the smile that crossed her lips. Even at eight, she loved pressing buttons. As she went to the corner of the elevator opposite Lucky, she giggled a bit, then realized she probably shouldn't look so excited. She was trying to pass for a grownup. So she closed her mouth and looked hard at her feet. She took another look at Lucky, who was watching the numbers change on the elevator slowly.

"Are you a doctor?"

"I am." Lucky answered.

"When we get up there, would you help me find my mommy?" Kayla asked. "I wanted to go see her, but my daddy said that the doctors said I couldn't."

"Is that why you're doing this yourself? Because your daddy said no?"

"Yeah." Kayla admitted. "Are you gonna take me back to him?"

Lucky sighed. "If you promise that when I take you to your mommy, you will stay in the room with her."

"Really? You won't make me leave?"

"No." Lucky said. "You see, we doctors have got rules to follow, but we're allowed to break them if we think we need to. If you're working this hard to get to your mommy, I can tell you love her very much. But like I said, you have to stay in the room with her and you can't leave. Do we have a deal?"

"Deal!" Kayla said. "Thanks."

"You're welcome, sweetheart."

The elevator finally came up to the fifth floor, and Kayla stepped out after Lucky did. He took her hand and led her to a room on the far end of the hallway. The door was closed, and Kayla suddenly found herself nervous and scared again. She saw the 'J. Winchester' nameplate on the outside of the door, and she stopped cold. Lucky seemed to sense her reluctance, and knelt down to talk to her.

"Are you okay?"

"My mommy's in there?" Kayla asked quietly.

"Yes. She's right in here." Lucky said, pointing to the door.

"Can she hear me?" Kayla asked.

"Yes. She can. She can't answer you, but you can talk to her all you want." Lucky explained. "Would you like to sit on the bed with her?"

"Can I?" Kayla asked.

"You can. Just be careful with the tubes and things that are attached to your mommy. They might look scary, but they're helping her get better. Okay?"

"Okay. I'll be careful." Kayla said. "Dr. Lucky? Is mommy hurting?"

"No. She's not in pain, sweetheart. She's just very sick and asleep. Are you ready to go in?"

"I guess." Kayla said. "Let's go."

Lucky led the small, frightened girl inside. Kayla stood at the end of Jess's bed for a long moment before going any further. It looked like her mommy, but it didn't look like her too. There were tubes going in and out, and a couple of machines that seemed to help mommy breathe. Mommy looked white, like a ghost, and Kayla wondered just how much blood she really had lost.

"Are you okay, Kayla? It's alright if you've changed your mind."

"No. I want to see her." Kayla said. "You said I could get on the bed?"

"Yep. Right here." Lucky helped her climb up on the bed, and helped her get into a position where she could sit comfortably. "I'll leave you alone now."

"Thank you." Kayla said, keeping her eyes on her mother.

Lucky left, and Kayla sat awkwardly looking at her mother. Finally, Kayla took some of her mother's hair and moved it out of her face. Just like Jess did with her when Kayla was lying down sick. Kayla wanted to talk, but she was afraid she'd start crying if she did. Mommy needed her to be strong, so Kayla waited until she could talk without crying to say anything.

"Hi, Mommy." Kayla said. Her voice wouldn't stop shaking, so she spoke slowly. "It's Kayla. I'm sorry I haven't come yet, but I didn't know where you were." Kayla stopped playing with Jess's hair; it was getting harder and harder to talk, but she had to do it. "I ran away from Daddy to get here to you. I know you wouldn't've like that, but I had to come see you."

Kayla waited a moment, hoping that Jess would answer her. When it didn't happen, Kayla got scared. Really scared.

"Mommy, I know you don't feel good. But you gotta wake up. I need you. You're the best mommy in the whole world and I need you to come back. Please, mommy, please wake up."

She knew it wouldn't do any good, but she had to try. Kayla placed her hands on Jess's chest and shook her, despite Lucky's warning to be careful with the medical equipment on Jess's bed. When it didn't work, just as Kayla was afraid it wouldn't, Kayla lost her fight to not cry. She didn't mean to fall asleep, but the last thing she remembered before waking up was lying down next to her mother, wrapping an arm around her waist, and begging her again to wake up.

Down in the cafeteria, Sam was oblivious to what was going on. He found himself, for the first time in days, relaxed. John was doing his best to try and cheer him and Leslie up, and they'd lost track of how much time Kayla had been gone. Sam checked his clock and jumped.

"Oh, my God."

"Sam? What is it?" Leslie asked.

"Kayla's been gone almost ten minutes. You guys didn't notice?"

"No, we didn't." John said.

"We're sorry, Sam."

"It's not your fault." Sam said. "I'll be right back."

Sam fought back both panic and anger. He certainly didn't want to spank Kayla today, but that was better than the two alternatives-that she was sick, and just hadn't come back yet, or worse, she had been taken. He would later wonder why it hadn't occurred to him to check Jess's room, but the thought just never came to him. He poked his head into the women's room, checked under the stalls for feet, and called Kayla's name, with no results. Panicking, he went into the hall and called Kayla's name, running up and down the hall, praying to find her. John and Leslie came out to join him when they heard him calling Kayla's name.

"Sam?"

"She's gone, Dad. I can't find her." Sam said.

"Okay, okay, stay calm, son. We'll find her." John said. "Where have you looked?"

In her sixty years of life, Leslie had only truly panicked a handful of times. But between worrying about Jess, worrying about Mary, and now, worrying about Kayla, it was all beginning to take its toll. While Sam talked to the security guards about the missing Kayla, John sat with Leslie in the waiting room chairs, trying to calm her.

"We'll find her."

"You don't know that." Leslie said. "Besides, I'm not really thinking about Kayla right now."

"Jess?"

"Yeah." Leslie said. "Is that terrible?"

"That you're worried about your sick kid? Not at all."

"That I'm not that worried about Kayla." Leslie said.

"You've got too much going on right now. That doesn't make you a bad person. It makes you human."

"Did Sam ever tell you where Kayla got her name from?" Leslie asked.

"No."

"Jess had twin sisters. They were three years older than her. Katherine and Layla." Leslie explained.

"I didn't know you have other kids." John said.

"I don't." Leslie said, restraining a sob.

"What happened to them?" John asked, afraid he didn't want to know the answer.

"I was nine months pregnant with Jess. Lloyd was gone, on a case in another city that day. It was a nice day, and the girls were begging to go outside. I took them out, and sat on the porch while they played in the yard. The mailman came, and the girls wanted to go get the mail for me. I told them it was okay, and to be careful." Leslie was staring straight ahead, and John took her hand to try and comfort her. "They were at the mailbox when this guy came speeding down the street…"

"Both of them?" John asked.

"On impact." Leslie said.

"My God, I'm so sorry." John said. Losing spouses was what had connected John and Leslie in the first place. But John could scarcely imagine losing one child, much less two.

"I had Jess two days later. As bad as it was losing the girls, having Jess saved me. She gave me something to hold onto."

"That makes sense."

"I can't do it again, John. I can't lose another baby…"

Before John could comfort Leslie any further, Sam came running to them. "Guys, they found Kayla."

"Where is she?" Leslie asked.

"Jess's room."

The three adults travelled up to the fifth floor, all holding their breath that Kayla was safe. They were met outside Jess's door by the nurse that Sam had become familiar with. Nurse Owens, a kind woman a few years older than Sam, looked distraught and apologetic.

"Mr. Winchester, I'm so sorry. I checked your wife's room twice when I heard your daughter was missing, but I never saw her…"

"It's fine. Is she okay?" Sam asked.

"She seems fine. She's just asleep. Do you want me to wake her up?"

"No. It's fine. Thank you." Sam said. "Thank you."

Sam opened the door to Jess's room, and for the first time in days, there was something on the bed other than Jess. Kayla was curled up next to her mother, arm around Jess's waist, sleeping soundly. Sam sighed deeply, his relief overwhelming. But the relief gave way to guilt. He realized that Kayla being 'hungry' had actually been a smokescreen. She had planned to run and try to find her way to Jess the second she agreed to go to the hospital with him. He knew that he should be angry about it, be disappointed that she had deliberately deceived him, but he really wasn't. He was proud. He was proud that Kayla had fought so hard to get to her mother, no matter what it cost.

He also felt like an idiot. It was the kind of thing Jess would have seen coming a mile away.

Sam quietly approached the bed and placed a hand on Kayla's arm. She stirred a little, but didn't wake. Sam saw the fresh tear marks on her face. He noticed Jess's hair slightly out of place, and imagined Kayla playing with her mother's hair before she went to sleep. She often did it when she'd just had a bad dream, and, Sam thought to himself, they were in just about the worst dream imaginable. He gently shook Kayla awake.

"Kayla. Wake up, sweetie."

Kayla stirred, whining softly. She gripped Jess' arm a little tighter. "M'my."

"Kay. Wake up, baby."

Kayla opened her eyes and looked up. "Daddy?"

"Sit up, kiddo."

Kayla sat up and rubbed her eyes.

"Kayla, you had me worried sick about you." Sam said. "Me and grandma and grandpa too."

"I'm sorry." Kayla said. "I'm sorry, Daddy."

"Why did you do it?" Sam asked.

"I had to see her. Daddy, I had to. Please don't make me leave." Kayla begged.

Sam frowned. "Kayla, you can't stay…"

"I need my mommy. Please don't make me go." Kayla begged, keeping her voice quiet so her mommy could sleep. "I'll be really quiet, I'll take whatever punishment you give me, just please don't make me go, Daddy."

"You can stay." Sam said, surprising even himself. "You can stay until bedtime."

"Thank you, Daddy." Kayla said. "Thank you."

"I want you to think about going to see Mary too."

"No." Kayla said. "No, she made Mommy sick. I don't want to see her."

"Kay…"

"I tried to wake up Mommy." Kayla said, the tears swimming dangerously close to the edge of her eyes. "I asked her to come back, I told her that I needed her."

"Honey…"

"Daddy, why won't she wake up?" Kayla asked. "Why won't Mommy come back?"

"I don't know, baby." Sam said. "I wish I could bring her back, but I can't."

"I want my mommy…"

Sam pulled the chair in the room next to the bed and picked up the now crying out of control Kayla. Kayla shook so hard crying for her mommy that Sam felt himself shaking too. He missed Jess the most at that very moment. She would know exactly the right thing to say and do to not only calm Kayla, but have her laughing uproariously and forgetting all about why she was hurting so much in the first place. All Sam could think to do was to keep saying he was sorry, that he wanted her mommy back too. Kayla was crying so hard that Sam nearly missed it. 

"Why she crying?"

Sam was so startled that he almost dropped Kayla. "Jess?"

Kayla turned in Sam's lap and squealed in delight. "Mommy! You're awake!"

"Why…" Jess' voice was scratchy from not using it for days, "…why are you crying so much? What's wrong?"

"Kayla, stay here with your mommy. I'm going to get the doctor."

Jess was examined and given clearance to see Mary. Kayla refused to leave her mother's side, but wouldn't touch Mary. Finally, long after it had gotten dark and long after Kayla should've been in bed, Sam made the announcement.

"Kayla bug, it's time for you to go home and go to bed."

"No!" Kayla begged, grabbing Jess's arm. "You said I could stay."

"I said you could stay until bedtime. It's past your bedtime, you need to go home and go to sleep."

"Kay." Jess said. "Listen to your daddy, okay? I don't want you spending the night here. I want you to go home and get some sleep. You can come back tomorrow."

"But Mommy, you've been gone so long…" 

"Shh. Listen to me, okay? The hard part is over. I'm getting better, and the doctor said I'll be home in a couple of days at the most. But I need you to go home right now so that I'm not worried about you too. I need you to help me and Daddy by getting the house ready for us to bring the baby home."

"What do I need to do?" Kayla asked.

"Just make sure that everything's picked up really neat and clean. Okay? Will you do that for me?"

"I'll do it, Mommy." Kayla said. "Promise."

"But don't worry. You're not the only one going home."

"What do you mean?" Kayla asked.

"Grandma, Grandpa, and Daddy are going with you." All three adults started to protest, but Jess raised her hand to silence them. "No. No arguing with me. I know you guys. You've all been here every day since I had Mary. I want you to take Kayla home and spend some time with her. She deserves it. She's gotten the short end of the stick the last few days, and it's time we fix that. She doesn't have to go to school until I come home, and I don't want any of you back tomorrow until at least lunchtime. Mary and I are fine. Go home."

"Jess, honey…"

"Wait just a minute now, young lady, I'm your mother and I'm staying here…"

"Kayla." Jess said, cutting Sam and Leslie off at the same time. "When you're not in school, what time do we usually eat lunch?"

"Twelve o'clock."

"If Grandma or Daddy tries to get back in the car before twelve tomorrow, I want you to hit them with a water balloon." Jess said.

Kayla giggled almost as hard as she had been crying earlier that afternoon. "Okay!"

"Alright, we get the point." Leslie said. "Let's go."

The room emptied quickly, and Kayla was fast asleep by the time they pulled into the house. Sam picked her up carefully. Leslie offered to spend the night with Sam at the house, but Sam declined. John and Leslie said goodnight to Sam, promising to be back in the morning. Dean, who had been at Sam's all day with Bobby finishing what was left of Mary's room, went to Leslie's so that Sam could have a little peace and quiet. As Sam carried Kayla to her room, Kayla stirred awake. 

"Daddy, can I seep wif 'ou?" Kayla slurred.

"Sure, baby." Sam said. "Let's go."

Sam laid Kayla down on his bed and promised to be back. He quickly changed into fresh pajamas and came back. Kayla was sitting up in the middle of the bed, looking at her feet.

"What are you thinking about?"

"I'm sorry, Daddy."

"For what?" Sam asked.

"Running away at the hospital." Kayla said. "I know I scared you really bad and I'm sorry."

Sam flipped off the light switch and climbed into the bed on the side he normally slept on. "Come here, baby." When Kayla was lying down next to him, Sam said, "I know why you ran away. I understand it. And I'm sorry too. I should never have tried to keep you from Mommy. That was wrong of me."

"Am I in trouble?" Kayla asked.

"You should be." Sam said. "And if you run away again, you will be. But because you were just trying to get to Mommy, I'll forgive it this time."

"Thanks, Daddy." Kayla said.

"Get some sleep, baby." Sam said, kissing the top of Kayla's head. "I love you."

"Love you too, Daddy."


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: The song that Mary sings in this chapter is from the Backyardigans.**

Kayla was having the worst summer break ever. Everyone had said that having a new baby at home would be 'wonderful' and 'amazing' and 'awesome' and 'cool'. She wished she could take everyone's 'wonderful' and 'amazing' and 'awesome' and 'cool' and shove it right back in their faces. So far, to Kayla, having a new baby in the house meant all bad things. Mommy and Daddy were always cranky. There were always people in the house, other than family-the usual people that came in and out. None of them wanted to talk to Kayla. Everyone went straight to Mary. Even grandma didn't talk to her much anymore. She would come in, go straight to Mary, pick her up, and play with her the whole time.

The only person who would really pay attention to Kayla was uncle Dean. In the six weeks since Mary had been born, Dean had come over three times and taken Kayla out for the day. It felt good to have someone ask her how she was doing, how she was feeling, and how things were going. Only once he brought Kayla back to the house would he talk to and play with Mary.

But the worst part was at night. Mary slept sometimes, but it seemed to Kayla she spent most of her time screaming. Mommy or Daddy would go and pick her up, she'd stop crying for a minute, then she'd go right back to it. Finally, Kayla couldn't take it anymore. Mary was screaming next door again. She hadn't heard Mommy or Daddy get up with her yet, so Kayla decided to take matters into her own hands. Kayla climbed out of bed and walked next door, right next to Mary's crib.

"Stop crying, Mary, we're trying to sleep!"

"Kayla!" Sam had appeared in the door to find Kayla at the crib. "Don't be mean to your sister!"

"She's being mean to me! I'm trying to sleep!" Kayla said grumpily.

"We all are." Sam said as he walked in to pick up Mary. "But you can't get mad at her. She needs our help right now."

"Help with what?"

"Why don't you help me find out?" Sam suggested.

Kayla watched as Sam picked up the still screaming Mary and cuddled her, changed her, rocked her, and fed her. Mary quieted down a lot, but she was still fussing in Sam's arms. Sam took her to the rocking chair that he had once used to rock Kayla to sleep. Just as he was about to fall asleep in the chair himself, Sam noticed Kayla standing at staring at them.

"There's room up here for you too, you know."

"No." Kayla said quietly.

"Please, Kay? Just come sit up here with me?" Sam said. "I miss you."

"You do?"

"Sure, I do." Sam said. "Come on."

"Okay."

Kayla carefully climbed up into Sam's lap. It felt awkward at first, but soon enough she was nestled in his arm opposite Mary. They sat in the dark near silence for a few minutes, before Kayla shocked Sam by breaking the silence.

"She's cute."

"What?" Sam asked.

"Mary. She's cute."

"She is cute." Sam said. "Would you like to hold her?"

"No." Kayla said.

Sam sighed. "Honey, why do you still blame Mary?"

"Because we almost lost Mommy." Kayla said.

"But we didn't, honey." Sam said. "Mommy's here, and she's safe now."

"I don't care. Mary almost took Mommy from us."

Sam shifted a little in the seat. "Honey, will you please hold Mary for me? My arm's getting tired."

"Why don't you put her back in the crib?"

"Because she'll start crying again." Sam said. "Will you please hold her? It'd help me out a lot."

"Okay, Daddy."

"Thank you." Sam said. "Here, sit up a little so I can give her to you."

"I won't hurt her?"

"No. You won't. I promise." Sam said. "Here you go."

When Mary landed in Kayla's arms, she instantly calmed. Her fussing stopped, and she stared at Kayla with big, brown eyes. Sam shook his head in disbelief. Mary had been crying for weeks straight. _Figures_ , he thought. But Sam held his breath when he saw that a smile was beginning on Kayla's lips as she watched her baby sister.

"Hey, Mary. I'm Kayla."

Mary cooed and continued to focus on the sound of Kayla's voice.

"I'm sorry I was mean to you." Kayla said. "I was really scared when Mommy got sick. I know you didn't do it, but I was scared it might happen again."

Mary made another noise, one Kayla couldn't quite decipher.

"Daddy, did I make her mad?"

"No, honey. Keep talking." Sam said. "She likes you."

"She likes me?" Kayla said with a smile. She looked back down to Mary, eyes sparkling. "You like me?"

Mary made another sound that sounded suspiciously like a laugh. Sam knew it wasn't a laugh, because Mary was too young for it. But Kayla's eyes lit up with an excitement that Sam had never before seen in her.

"Look, Daddy, I made her laugh!"

"You did, baby. Good job." Sam said.

"Can I sing to her? To put her back to sleep?"

"Go for it."

Kayla turned back to Mary and mimicked her mommy and daddy. All the nights they'd sung to her when she was sick, or sad, or hurting, or just needing attention came back through Kayla. "Rest my little darling, you've had a busy day. The sun is a falling, and it's time for me to say. Hush, hush, little mermaid goodnight. Hush hush little mermaid sleep tight."

Sam had grateful tears in his eyes as he listened to Kayla. A noise took his attention away, but it was only Jess standing in the doorway. She had heard Kayla singing on the baby monitor and couldn't resist not getting up. Sam looked up and locked eyes with Jess, the meaning clear to both of them. _We're a family now._

"Daddy." 

Kayla was tapping Sam on the knee, breaking his look on Jess and making him jump slightly. "What, baby?"

"She's asleep." Kayla whispered.

"Wow, I guess she is." Sam said.

"Kay." Jess whispered from the door.

"Mommy!"

"Shhh." Jess said, quickly placing her finger in front of her mouth. "Don't wake her up again."

"Oops. Sorry."

"It's okay. Here, let me get Mary back to bed." Jess carefully picked up Mary and placed her back in the crib.

Kayla, her arms now free, hugged Sam. "I'm a big sister now."

"You are a very good big sister." Sam said. "I'm very proud of you."

"So am I." Jess said. "And I have an idea."

"What?" Kayla asked.

"How about you go back to your room and pick out a book for me and daddy to read to you?"

"Really?"

"Really." Jess said. "But just one. It's the middle of the night and you need to go back to sleep."

"Can I sleep with you guys?"

"Sure. Go on." Jess said, and Kayla ran off to her room. Jess smiled, relieved that the animosity Kayla had for her sister was over. "Well, that was unexpected."

"Yeah…"

"Mommy." Kayla said again from the doorway. "Mommy, come here. Quick."

Jess and Sam followed Kayla to their bedroom. Kayla was standing underneath a framed photo on the wall.

"What is it, honey?"

"Mommy, how do you know Dr. Lucky?" Kayla asked.

"Who?" Jess asked.

"Right here." Kayla was pointing up at a picture of Jess in her childhood with her father. "Dr. Lucky."

"Honey, who's Dr. Lucky?" Sam asked.

"He helped me find mommy that day I went to see her in the hospital." Kayla said. "He rode the elevator with me and helped me find you."

"What? Are you sure it was him?" Jess asked.

"Positive."

"Jess? What is it?" Sam asked.

"My mom called my dad Lucky when I was growing up." Jess said.

A silence fell over the room as Sam and Jess soaked in what Kayla's revelation meant.

"Mommy?"

"He wasn't a doctor, Kayla." Jess said. "That was your grandpa."

"Grandpa John?" Kayla asked.

"No, honey. That was _my_ daddy. Your grandpa Lloyd. He was watching out for you until you found me."

"I don't remember him." Kayla said.

"Well, he died before you were born. But you were on your way, and he was so excited to meet you. He loved you." Jess said. "I think this proves he watches out for you."

Kayla carefully eyed the book she'd picked out from her room. "Mommy? Instead of reading, will you tell me about grandpa?"

"Sure. Come on." Jess said. "Get in bed." Kayla climbed in and soon enough was fast asleep. Jess peeked at Sam and smiled. For the first time in weeks, they were alone. "Night, Dad."

"Night, mom." Sam said. "Goodnight, Kay. We love you."


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Sorry for the late update, folks! It's been a rough week.**

Screaming.

That was the sound that woke Kayla. Screaming. Who was screaming exactly, she couldn't tell at first, but they were screaming as hard and as loud as they could. When Kayla tried to move, she couldn't, and everything came flooding back to her. The car squealing tires. The loud crash. The breaking glass. It was Mary, in her car seat next to Kayla, who was screaming. Screaming Kayla's name.

"Kay'a!"

Kayla reached over and unbuckled her seat belt. "It's okay, Mary. I'm here. Don't cry."

"Kay'a."

"Shhh. It's okay. Are you hurt?" Kayla quickly checked Mary over. To her relief, she found no injuries on her baby sister. "I'm gonna check on grandma." Kayla said.

"Out, Kay'a. Out."

"No. Not yet." Kayla said. "I'll help you get out, I promise, just not yet. Stay here."

"Kay'a…"

Kayla ignored her little sister's crying and climbed into the front seat. The other sound that had woken her up was the horn. Leslie's face was smashed into the steering wheel. Kayla pulled her back against the seat and gasped. There was blood on Leslie's face, and worse, she wasn't moving.

"Grandma. Wake up. I need your help, I don't know what to do." Leslie didn't move, and Kayla tried hard not to cry. Mary was doing enough crying for the both of them. "Grandma. Grandma, please wake up."

A beeping sound got Kayla's attention. _Grandma's phone_ , Kayla thought. She dug it out of Leslie's pocket and flipped it open. The battery was flashing, but Kayla didn't care. She pressed the red button to stop the flashing batter and dialed 911 with shaking hands. The phone rang three times, and Kayla tried to keep herself calm. Her aching body and racing heart made it hard, but Kayla was the only one who could do it.

"911. What is your emergency?"

"We need help!" Kayla said.

The woman on the other end of the phone softened her tone slightly when she realized she was speaking with a scared child. "Alright, sweetie, slow down. What do you need help with?"

"My grandma's car crashed and now I can't wake her up."

"Okay, sweetie. Listen, I'm gonna get you help, but I need to ask you some questions. Can you answer them for me?"

"I'll try." Kayla said. "I'm really scared."

"I'm sure you are, sweetheart, but you're doing just fine. You're very brave. Can you tell me your name?"

"Kayla."

"Alright, Kayla, I'm Sally. Kayla, how old are you?"

"Ten." Kayla said.

"Okay, good, honey. I hear someone crying in the background. Do you know who that is?"

"It's my sister."

"Is she hurt?" Sally asked.

"I don't think so. She's just scared."

"Good. How old your sister? What's her name?"

"Mary. She'll be two in three weeks." Kayla said.

"Okay, good. Now, where's your grandma? Is she awake?"

"No. She's hurt and I can't wake her up." Kayla said. 

"Okay. Is she breathing? Can you tell?"

"I don't know." Kayla said. "I don't think so. She's got blood on her face and her nose looks funny."

"What do you mean funny?"

"Like it's broken." Kayla said. "She fell really hard into the steering wheel."

"Alright. Now how about you, sweetie? Are you hurt?"

"I feel sore." Kayla said. "But I don't think I broke anything."

"Okay. Kayla, do you know where you are?"

"I can't tell." Kayla said. "I don't remember much before the car crashed. It's all fuzzy."

"Do you see any signs around you? Any houses, other cars, anything like that?" Sally asked.

Kayla looked out the windshield and spotted it. "I see a street sign."

"Can you tell what it says?"

"There's two of them. The one on top says Ashby street. I can't see the one on the bottom." Kayla said.

"That is a wonderful job, sweetheart. I'm sending help out to you now. Stay on the phone with me, okay?"

The phone beeped again, and Kayla pulled it away. "The battery's dying."

"Okay, sweetheart, listen to me. Do not hang up. Do you hear me? Do not hang up."

"But if it dies…" Kayla said.

"Just stay on as long as you possibly can." Sally said. "Talk to me, honey. What happened?"

"It's all fuzzy. I can't remember."

"That's okay. How about what you were doing today?" Sally asked.

Kayla told the story, letting her mind go back to earlier that day.

 _Five Hours Earlier_

 _5pm_

" _What do you think, Daddy?"_

 _Kayla stood at the bottom stairs in her new dress, twirling it for him with a big smile on her face. Sam mirrored her smile as he watched her model the dress Leslie had gotten for her. It was Kayla's favorite color-green with a red lining on the bottom._

" _You look absolutely beautiful, honey."_

" _Really?" Kayla asked. "I'm pretty?"_

" _You are very pretty, sweetheart. Come here. Let's wait for mommy and Mary."_

 _Sam knew the time when Kayla would want to cuddle with her Daddy was coming to a close, but for now he was grateful she was still young enough for it. While Jess dressed Mary down the hall, Kayla climbed into Sam's lap on the couch and just talked. She told Sam about what was going on in school, what her friends were up to, the movie she'd watched with her mom that day. Soon enough, but too soon for Sam, Jess walked in carrying Mary, and the doorbell rang._

" _Grandma!"_

 _Leslie didn't wait to be let in. She walked inside and shut the door behind her. Her blue dress got caught slightly in the doorway._

" _Look at you!" Sam said from the couch._

 _Leslie blushed and grinned appreciatively. "Thank you, Sam."_

 _Jess handed the babbling Mary over to Sam. "You guys ready to go?"_

" _I am!"_

" _So tell me again what you guys are doing?" Sam asked._

" _It's a grandparents day party, Daddy." Kayla said. "We're gonna play games, and eat ice cream, and…"  
_

" _I'm glad you're excited, sweetie." Leslie said. "I am too." She turned to Sam and asked, "There's a couple of boxes in the back of my car. Clothes for Mary and Kayla. Would you mind getting them for me?"_

" _Sure."_

 _As Sam walked out the door, Kayla asked, "What are you two gonna do tonight, Mommy?"_

" _Daddy and I will play some games of our own." Jess said, making her mother snort with laughter._

" _What's so funny?"_

" _Nothing, honey." Jess said. "You guys go have fun."_

"Kayla." Sally said. "You still with me, honey?"

"I'm here."

"I don't hear Mary crying anymore. Is she okay?" Sally asked.

Kayla was alarmed when she realized Sally was right. Mary wasn't crying anymore. Kayla turned quickly and found Mary still in her car seat, sucking her thumb. She was close to falling asleep, her eyes heavy, red, and puffy.

"She looks okay. She's sucking her thumb and she's about to fall asleep."

"Alright, sweetie. Do you hear the ambulance yet?" Sally asked.

Off in the distance, Kayla heard a siren. "I hear them!"

"Okay, sweetie, can you do something to let them know where you are?"

"Like what?" Kayla asked.

"Can you get out of the car and go to meet them?"

"I don't want to leave my sister alone."

"Can you honk the horn and keep your hand on it until you see them?" Sally asked. 

"I'll try." Kayla said. "The phone's beeping faster…"

Kayla pulled the phone away from her ear and sobbed a little when she saw it was dead. _Stay strong, Mary and Grandma need you_ , a voice said from inside her mind. Kayla threw the phone down on the floor, checked one more time on Mary, then did what Sally told her. She leaned on the horn and pressed it. Mary started to scream again, and this time Kayla joined in.

"Someone help us!"

Sam put away the last of what remained of dinner. He wondered why Leslie hadn't called yet so they could tell the girls goodnight, but he wasn't worried. _They're still at the party_ , Sam told himself. _Let them have fun._ Sam heard something that made him stop. A faint voice, screaming from far off. _Kayla?_ , he thought to himself. Sam shook his head; Kayla was fine. She was hopefully in bed, but was probably out having a blast with her grandma. Sam went to the couch to wait for Jess to come out of the shower.

He never made it. The doorbell rang, and for a moment Sam thought about just ignoring it. He knew it wasn't Dean, who would have either called first or just walked inside. Leslie was gone with the girls, and Bobby and John were at their home in Sioux Falls, more than an hour away. Sam heard the shower running down the hall and smiled. Jess had already been in there around a half hour. Sam figured she was just enjoying some rare time to herself, which he thought was more than earned. Whoever was at the door knocked again, and this time made Sam wish he hadn't ignored it.

"Mr. Winchester, this is the police department. We see your light on, please answer the door."

Sam threw open the door to find two detectives standing there. "What is this about?"

"Mr. Winchester, I'm detective Lamby, this is detective Ross. Are you the father of Kayla and Mary Winchester? Ages ten and two?"

"Yes." Sam said, his heart dropping to his stomach.

"Sir, I'm sorry to tell you this, but your daughters were just taken to St. John's hospital."

"What? Are they okay?" Sam asked.

"They're alive, and they both appear to have minor injuries."

"What about Leslie?"

"Leslie?" detective Ross asked.

"My mother-in-law. The girls were spending the night with her." Sam explained.

The detectives glanced at each other then back at Sam. "Your mother-in-law was involved in a car accident. We're still investigating, but it looks like someone hit the three of them and kept driving."

"Is Leslie okay?" Sam insisted.

"No, sir. She's alive, but barely. The doctors are looking at her right now." detective Ross said. "We need you to come to the hospital to see to your daughters, sir." 

"Um, yeah, of course. My wife's in the shower, I need to wait for her."

"We'll wait for you." detective Ross said. "Take your time."

"Come on in. You guys can wait in here." Sam said, walking away down the hall towards he bathroom.

Sam opened the bathroom door slowly. As anxious as he was to get to Kayla and Mary, he dreaded talking to Jess. When he opened the door, he found Jess standing there, just dressed in pajamas and brushing her hair.

"Hey, you." she said. "I thought you were gonna join me."

"Jess, you need to get dressed."

"I am dressed. Sam, why do you look like you've seen a ghost?" Jess asked.

 _Hopefully I haven't,_ Sam thought. "The police are here. Your mom and the girls were in an accident."

"WHAT?" Jess asked. "Are they okay?"

"I don't know. We need to get to the hospital. Come on and get dressed."

It seemed like forever before Sam and Jess's car was pulling up to the ER. Sam helped Jess and raced up to the door before the detectives were even out of their car. He started to ask the nurse behind the desk where he needed to go when he heard a voice that lifted his spirit.

"Da'e!"

"Mary!"

Mary was being held by a nurse who was trying to keep her calm until her parents got there. Mary reached for her daddy and nearly jumped off the nurse's lap. Sam and Jess, for five while seconds, felt a rush of relief. But it quickly dissipated.

"Mr. and Mrs. Winchester?" the nurse asked.

"Yes." Jess answered. "Is she okay?"

"She was mostly scared." The nurse replied. "She's been asking for mommy and daddy the whole time."

"Mommy's here now, my sweet girl." Jess said, hugging a sniffing Mary close to her.

"Where's our other daughter?" Sam asked.

"She's being examined right now." The nurse said. "If you'll stay here, I'll go get the doctor."

"Thank you." Sam said sincerely. "For taking care of Mary too."

"My pleasure."

A doctor came around the corner. "Mr. and Mrs. Winchester?"

"Call me Sam. Where's our daughter?"

"I'm Dr. Cole. You can call me Alex. I have Kayla down the hall in an exam room."

"Is she hurt?" Jess asked.

"Physically she seems okay. She has a concussion, but it doesn't seem serious."

"Seem serious?" Jess asked. "I thought you said you examined her."

"I did as much as I could. Kayla seems to be in a deep shock. She hasn't said anything since she got to the hospital. I was actually hoping one of you would go and talk to her."

"Of course we will." Jess said.

"I should warn you both. I'd advise you to talk to Kayla, but don't force it. She's very fragile right now, and forcing her to talk might shut her down even more."

"We understand." Jess said. "Please just take us to her."

"Of course. Follow me."

Kayla was sitting on the hospital bed, arms hugging her knees, staring out the window. She had been changed into a hospital gown, the dress she'd been so proud of nowhere around. Sam heard Dr. Cole tell the detectives they would have to come back later. Kayla either didn't hear or didn't acknowledge her family coming in. Jess approached the bed first, grabbing Layla in a tight hug that Kayla didn't return. Sam lightly touched her shoulder, and Kayla stared at him with only the slightest bit of recognition.

"Are you alright?"

No response.

"Doctor, where's my mother?" Jess asked.

"I'm afraid I don't know. She was wheeled into surgery when she got here. If one of you would like to come with me, I'll see if I can get an update."

"I'll go." Sam said. "You stay here with the girls."

Jess nodded, and Sam left with the doctor. The surgical waiting room was one floor up, but the journey felt like miles. When they arrived, Dr. Cole recognized a doctor coming out.

"Darrell. This is Sam Winchester. He's Leslie Moore's son in law. He's here for an update."

The surgeon went pale and turned to Sam. I'm sorry, Mr. Winchester. Your mother in law died a few minutes ago."


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I got a review on the last chapter that I should have put a content warning on it about the car accident. I apologize to anyone I may have unintentionally upset; I have written several chapters over almost 100 stories containing car accidents and their aftermaths, and I've never thought to include a content warning for that. So, I'm including it now. Leslie's injuries in the accident are described here, as are Kayla's. Mary is uninjured. This chapter and at least the next two will also contain some heavy angst. Be warned.**

"She…she died?"

"Yes. I'm sorry." Darrell explained. "Please, come sit down and I'll tell you what I can."

Sam took a seat and stared down at the floor, the magnitude of what had happened that night beginning to dawn on him.

"First off, Mr. Winchester, I'm Dr. Casey."

"Call me Sam." Sam said without looking up from the floor.

"Alright, then, I'm Darrell." the doctor said. "Come on, sit down. I'll tell you what I can."

Sam took a chair, his knees threatening to buckle. "What happened?"

"From what we could piece together from the police, the car was hit between the driver's side front door and passenger door. It appears that when the car hit, Leslie was shoved hard forward. She probably fell unconscious at that point as well. When she arrived at the hospital, she had extensive injuries. She had several broken ribs, a fractured neck, a collapsed lung, a severely broken nose. We took her into the OR with a team of doctors to try and work on her as much as possible at once. She held on for a few minutes after she was brought to the OR, but…"

"She just couldn't anymore." Sam guessed.

"It appears so." Dr. Casey said. "I really am sorry, Mr. Winchester."

"Thank you."

"I don't know if this is any comfort, but we have a nurse on our staff who's known for talking to patients during surgery. She believes that they know what's going on, even though they're asleep. Your mother-in-law hung on until nurse Jenkins told her that your girls were safe. That they were being taken care of, and that you were on your way." Dr. Casey said. "I've never put much stock in nurse Jenkins' belief, but it's amazing that she lived as long as she did. She did not leave this world until she knew for sure those girls were safe."

Sam smiled sadly. "That does give me comfort. Thank you."

"I'll be here a few more hours if you have any questions."

Dr. Casey left, and Dr. Cole was still waiting. "Would you like me to go with you? Help you tell your wife and your girls?"

"Umm, yes, please. I need to make a phone call first, though."

"Of course." Dr. Cole said. "I'll go back to Kayla's room and check on her."

"Does she have any injuries?"

"Like I said, she wouldn't tell us anything. She seems to just be sore. One of the nurses touched her shoulder and she flinched. She doesn't appear to have any broken bones, but I'd like to keep her overnight and give her an X-Ray just to be sure."

"What about Mary?" Sam asked.

"She told us, in no uncertain terms, that she wasn't hurt and we were to take care of her sister." Dr. Cole said.

Sam chuckled. "That sounds like her."

Dr. Cole smiled. "But I'd like to examine her again in the morning, too."

"I understand. If Jess asks, just tell her that I'm calling my father, please. I do want you to be there, but I want to tell her myself."

"Sure. Like I said, take your time."

When Dr. Cole was gone, Sam pulled out his cell and checked the time. 1:30AM. Bobby was likely either awake doing research or fast asleep. He thought about calling John, but he couldn't face that. He felt bad sticking Bobby with that horrible responsibility, but Sam was starting to realize that he was in way over his head.

"This better damn well be good." Bobby answered the phone crankily.

"Bobby. It's Sam."

"Sam? What's going on?" Bobby asked.

"Bobby, I, um, I need you and Dad here."

"What is it, Sam? What happened?" Bobby asked again. "Are the girls alright?"

"Leslie, um, Leslie was taking them for the night. She got in a bad car accident."

"What is it, Sam? Tell me."

Sam choked back a sob. "She's gone, Bobby. Leslie's dead."

A few seconds of stunned silence followed before Bobby asked, "What do you need, Sam?"

"I'm sorry, Bobby, I just…" 

"Don't apologize. Just tell me what you need." Bobby said. "I'm there, boy, you know that. Just tell me."

"I need you to tell Dad. I just can't tell Dad and Jess and Kayla…"

"I got it, Sam. What else?" Bobby said.

"I just need help, Bobby. I need help taking care of Kayla and Mary and helping Jess through this…"

"You got it. Sam, how are the girls? You said they were with Leslie?"

"Um, Mary's okay. Kayla was the one who called 911 and got the ambulance there. She tried hard to save Leslie and she couldn't." Sam said.

"Poor kid." Bobby said sympathetically.

"She hasn't said anything since she got to the hospital."

"Shock." Bobby said.

"Yeah. Bobby, please, I need you…"

"Listen to me, Sam. It's 1:30. Your dad and I will be there by 3:30 at the latest. I'll call Dean and get him to come too. You go back to Jess and the girls and call me if you need me. Okay?"

"Okay. Thanks, Bobby." Sam said. 

"You ain't gotta thank me for this, boy. We'll be there soon."

Sam hung up, relieved that he would have backup soon. The reality of the situation was sinking in further and further. Sam had never known his own mother. Leslie was the closest thing he'd ever had. And she was gone. Leslie had been the only parent he'd had during the years that he and John hadn't talked. She'd made sure he stayed fed, clothed, and felt loved during one of the toughest times of Sam's life. But right now he couldn't dwell on that. He had a wife and two kids to take care of.

Sam walked back down to Kayla's room, where Jess was laying a sleeping Mary down on the bed next to Kayla.

"Can I put her to bed with you?"

Kayla said nothing, just held an arm out and allowed Jess to lay Mary down. She wrapped an arm around Mary's waist, and Mary instinctively put a thumb in her mouth. Apparently Dr. Cole had already told Jess about keeping them overnight, because Jess wrapped a blanket over the two of them.

"I'm going to find Daddy."

"I'm right here." Sam said. He walked in and tucked the two girls as well. He looked at Kayla for a few seconds, tucked her hair behind her ear, and smiled. "I'm glad you're okay." Again Kayla didn't respond, and Sam reminded her, "Mommy and I will be in the hallway. Call us or come get us if you need us, okay?"

Kayla's only response was to squeeze Mary a little tighter.

"Get some sleep." Sam said, leaning in to kiss Kayla's cheek. "I love you, bug." Kayla closed her eyes and Sam turned towards Jess. "Come on. I need to talk to you outside."

The next two hours were some of the longest of Sam's life. Jess took her mother's death as well as Sam could expect. He knew it was mostly adrenaline, but Jess simply cried a little then went back into the hospital room and slept next to Kayla and Mary. Sam called Bobby and asked him to go to his house and sleep there rather than coming straight to the hospital. He promised to call when everyone was coming home, and pulled up a chair to sleep next to the bed.

Sam was woken three hours later when Dr. Cole walked in. He was surprised to see Kayla sitting up, her mother and sister asleep on either side of her. Dr. Cole appeared to have walked in simply to check on Kayla; he picked up her chart and made some notations in it before he realized Kayla was watching him.

"Hi. Are you feeling okay?" When Kayla said nothing, he turned towards Sam. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay." Sam turned towards Kayla and said, "Kay? You alright?"

Dr. Cole smiled. "I think she's just having trouble sleeping. You know, the X-Ray machine's probably free now. Since neither of you is sleeping, why don't we go down and get Kayla checked out? Then we can just check Mary over when she wakes up, and you guys can go on home."

"Works for me." Sam said. "Kay? You okay with that?"

For the first time all night, Kayla responded to something asked of her. She nodded, then looked to Mary and Jess and frowned.

"We won't wake them up." Sam said. "I'll leave mommy a note so she doesn't worry."

Kayla nodded again, then lifted her arms toward Sam. Sam picked her up and set her down on the floor, and Kayla grabbed his hand. Dr. Cole handed Sam a notepad he kept in his pocket and a pen, and Sam quickly scribbled a note to Jess. _Kayla and I couldn't sleep. We went to Radiology to get Kayla checked out. Be back soon._ Kayla held Sam's hand the entire way to the radiology department. Her X-ray was clear. She had strained a muscle in her shoulder and had a few bruises, but otherwise seemed to be okay. Sam checked the clock again. 7:15am.

"You hungry, kiddo?" Sam asked. "You want to get some breakfast?"

Kayla shook her head. _No._

"Okay. Wanna go back to mommy?"

 _Yes._

"Okay. Let's go."

Kayla was officially given the all clear. Dr. Cole advised Sam to keep Kayla from any strenuous activity for a few days, and suggested he bring her back to talk to a child psychologist if she didn't start talking soon. Sam walked Kayla back towards the room and found Jess and Mary on the bed playing.

"Hey." Jess said. "How's our girl?"

"Strained shoulder and some bruises. She has to take it easy for a few days and she should be okay."

"We can handle that." Jess smiled. "You guys ready to go home?"

"Doesn't Mary…"

"Another doctor came in and looked at her a few minutes ago." Jess said. "She's fine."

"Okay. Sounds good. Let's head out."

Kayla suddenly snatched her hand away from Sam's and scrambled away from him. She crouched in the chair Sam had slept in, shaking her head and trembling.

"Kay. Honey, what's wrong?" Sam asked. "What is it?"

"Kayla?" Jess jumped up from the bed and walked over. "Are you okay?" Again, no response except Kayla's head shaking back and forth. "Are you scared to go home?"

Kayla stopped shaking and nodded.

"Listen, honey. Mommy will be in the back with you the whole time, okay? I won't let anything happen to you."

Kayla shook her head. _No._

"Kay, we have to go home." Sam said. "We can't stay here. Mommy will ride with you. You can keep your eyes closed the whole time if you want."

Kayla stood up from the chair and walked over to the personal belongings bag that had been brought into the room while everyone was asleep. She pulled out the dress she'd been wearing the night before and ran her fingers through it, before holding it up to her parents. The dress was ripped slightly at the bottom, and had a few bloodstains on it.

"Oh, honey, we can fix the dress." Jess said.

Kayla frowned deeper and turned to Sam.

"Jess, she's not asking about the dress." Sam said. "Right?"

Kayla nodded.

"Oh." Jess said simply.

"Honey, I'm sorry. Grandma didn't make it. She died last night."

Kayla gripped the dress with an iron fist and ripped it in two in a sudden rage. _No, no, no, no, no, no_ , she shook her head repeatedly. Kayla threw the two pieces to the floor and tried to run out of the room, only to be caught by Sam. The adrenaline left her, but Kayla fought against Sam weakly.

"Kay, stop. I'm sorry, honey, but running won't help."

Kayla, who was held tightly against her father's chest, tried to push away from him again.

"I'm so sorry, baby."

Kayla pushed again, and all the fight drained out of her.

"We need to go home, honey. Come on, let's go."

The only indication Sam had that Kayla was crying at first was her breathing changing. The cries steadily increased, and Sam found himself sitting back in the chair holding and rocking Kayla until she fell asleep. Jess was crying too, and Sam tried to comfort her, but Jess just shook her head and pointed at Kayla. _Help her first._ Sam felt terrible for the thought that crossed his mind as he carried Kayla to the car and buckled her into the backseat.

 _At least we can get her home now._


	13. Chapter 13

_Six Weeks Later_

Leslie was cremated, a funeral held, and life returned to semi-normal. Bobby stayed two full weeks, John another three days, then headed back home. Sam felt guilty not being there for his father. He wondered how he was feeling, having lost the person what was, as far as he knew, the only woman John had truly cared about since his mother. But when he said something to John about it, all he got in response was,

"I appreciate you wanting to be there for me, Sam, but you've got your hands full. Help Jess and Kayla right now. Dean and Bobby are there for me if I need them."

The driver of the car that had hit Leslie and the girls turned himself in a week later. He took a plea bargain, saving the family from the ordeal of a trial. Sam went back to work ten days after the accident, though he was far more focused on his family than his cases.

Kayla didn't talk again. She would nod and shake her head for yes and no, seek out one or both her parents when she woke up from a nightmare, and would hug them to say 'thank you'. Her time otherwise was spent in her room, drawing or reading.

School let out for summer break a couple of weeks later. Kayla's grades were good enough that she was passed onto fourth grade, despite missing a full week and a half of classes and assignments. Sam was thinking of taking Dr. Cole's advice to send Kayla to a psychiatrist, when she shocked her parents one month to the day of the accident by coming downstairs and asking,

"What's for breakfast?"

While Kayla was slowly getting better, Jess was slowly getting worse. After packing up her mother's house, she was short-tempered with Kayla, Mary, and Sam. More than once, Sam came home to find Kayla fixing cereal for herself and Mary for dinner. Kayla reluctantly told Sam a week after she started to talk again that there were days Jess didn't get out bed until close to lunchtime. She would fix something to eat for the two of them, then go back to bed. Sam tried to talk to Jess, but was met with a stone wall.

"Jess, if you need some time, I can get Dena to come and help take care of the girls. I can try to get a leave of absence. But this has to stop. They're way too young to be taking care of themselves."

Kayla tried to help. She would clean up after herself and Mary, take Mary into the yard to play, go to Jess's room and offer a comforting hand for her mother, do laundry, and anything else she could do herself. All her efforts were either met with silence or a command from her mother to do something else. Kayla decided that her mother must be angry that she hadn't done more to help grandma in the accident, so she was determined to make it up to her.

"Come on, Mary. You need a bath."

"No baff." the two-year old scrunched her face in disgust. She hated to get wet.

"Come on. I'll go really fast and then I'll play with you before bed. Deal?"

Mary thought about the proposition and decided it was worth it. "Otay. I get baff."

Kayla had never given Mary a bath alone before, but she'd seen Mommy and Daddy do it enough that she was confident she knew what to do. She took Mary into the bathroom, took her out of the clothes she was wearing, and was relieved to find Mary didn't need a diaper change. She plugged the tub and made sure the water wasn't too hot. She placed Mary in the tub and then realized she forgot something.

"I'll be right back, Mary. I've got to get a towel."

Mary was too distracted playing with a toy to hear Kayla. Kayla went to the linen closet and opened it up. The bath towels were just above her reach, so she grabbed the small ladder that was at the bottom of the closet and propped it open. She was at the top of the ladder reaching for the towel when she heard it.

"MARY!"

Kayla was so startled by her mother's sudden scream that she fell off the ladder flat onto the floor. After recovering herself, Kayla jumped up from the floor and ran to the bathroom, where Jess was holding Mary and turning the water off as fast as she could.

"What the hell happened?" Jess demanded.

"I was just…"

"Just what, Kayla? What were you doing?" Jess said.

Kayla started to shake. Mommy _never_ yelled at her. Ever. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what? Answer the question, Kayla. What were doing?"

"Trying to give her a bath."

"You cannot leave a baby alone in a bathtub." Jess said. "She could have drowned! What were you thinking?"

"I'm sorry, Mommy." Kayla said.

"Sorry is not enough, Kayla. Go to your room. Now. And do not come out until I send your Daddy in there when he gets home."

"I was just trying to help." Kayla cried.

She was certain she was about to get a spanking when Daddy got home. Not that she didn't deserve it, but Kayla felt terrible for almost hurting her sister.

"Like you helped grandma?"

Kayla stared at her mother, mouth gaping in horror. She'd suspected that Jess blamed her for grandma dying, but now she knew for sure. Kayla turned on her heel and ran for the front door, opened it, and ran away from home as fast as she could.

When it dawned on Jess what she had just said to Kayla, she felt sick. Jess couldn't believe how cruel she'd been, and Mary's squirming and crying out 'mean mommy' didn't help. Praying that Kayla had just gone out onto the front porch, Jess quickly threw a shirt onto Mary and went outside.

"Kayla!"

There was no answer. Kayla wasn't on the porch, the steps, or anywhere in the yard.

"KAYLA!"

Sam pulled into the driveway at that exact moment. "Jess, what's wrong?"

"Kayla ran away."

"What? When?" Sam asked.

"Just a minute ago."

"What happened?" Sam asked. Jess recounted the story and an angry Sam had finally had enough. "Damn it, Jess! We just got her talking again!"

"I know!" Jess said. "I know, I'm sorry, I just…it scared me so bad when I found Mary in that tub."

"Jess, I mean it. This has got to stop. I know you miss your mom. I get it. But Kayla is ten years old. If she had panicked and not thought to dial 911, there's no telling what would have happened to her and Mary."

"I know." Jess said.

"I have a feeling I know where Kayla is. I'm going to get her. We need to talk tomorrow about you getting help."

Jess nodded. "She's at mom's, isn't she?"

"That's what I'm thinking." Sam said. "I'll be back."

Sam pulled out of the driveway, having never gotten out of the car. He headed down the hall

towards Leslie's house. He'd been avoiding her house as often as he could, even going as far as heading to work in the opposite direction to not pass by Leslie's house. Sure enough, as he pulled into the driveway of the house that now had a 'FOR SALE' sign in the yard, he spotted Kayla sitting on the stone steps leading into the house.

"Kayla!" Sam jumped out of the car and ran to her on the steps. "Are you okay?"

Kayla pulled away and shook her head.

 _No, not this again,_ Sam thought. "Honey, I need you to talk to me. Are you okay?"

"I miss Grandma." Kayla said. "Why'd she have to die?"

"I don't know, honey. I wish I could bring her back. I miss her too."

"It's my fault she's gone." Kayla cried. "I didn't try hard enough to save her."

"Kayla Ellen Winchester, listen to me right now." Sam said. "It is not your fault that Grandma died."

"Mommy thinks so. She said it." Kayla said.

"I know she did. She told me. Baby, she did not mean that. You know that, right?"

"Yes, she did." Kayla objected. "I hurt Mary too."

"No. You didn't hurt Mary." Sam said. "Mary is fine."

"Mommy said she could've drowned!" Kayla said. "I was just trying to help and I messed up again."

"Honey, listen to me. Your mommy is sick over what she said to you. She was scared and she's hurting, but that's no excuse. I swear to you she didn't mean it. Mommy's proud of you for what you did the night of the accident. Just like me, and Grandpa, and uncle Bobby, and uncle Dean." Sam said.

"Why are you proud of me? I didn't save Grandma."

"But you tried. You tried your hardest, and that is what counts." Sam said. "You know, one of the paramedics that helped you guys that night told me that you were the bravest kid he'd ever met."

"Really?"

"Yep. He ran into me when I was in town getting groceries. He told me that you honked the horn and flashed the lights on the car so they could see you, and that you made them take care of Mary and your grandma first. That took some guts, kiddo. Especially since you were hurt too." Sam said. "If you hadn't done what you did, there's no telling what might have happened to you and Mary."

Kayla stayed silent, looking down at the ground and digesting what Sam told her.

"You wanna know something else?" Sam asked, pulling Kayla's hair back. "Your grandma hung on until she knew that you and Mary were safe and that me and Mommy were on the way. She loved you so much, Kay. You meant everything to her."

"Do you miss her too?" Kayla asked.

"Yes." Sam said with no hesitation at all. "Your grandma was the only mom I ever had. I miss her every single day."

"Does it ever stop hurting, Daddy?"

"No." Sam said, trying to stop his own tears from falling. "I wish it did, but it doesn't. But after a while, you'll be able to think about Grandma without thinking about her being gone."

"I want to tell you something, but I'm afraid you won't believe me."

"What is it?" Sam asked. "I trust you."

"I saw Grandma."

"Where?" Sam asked.

"You remember at the hospital when you woke up and I was already awake?" Kayla asked. Sam nodded, and Kayla explained, "I felt someone looking at me and I saw Grandma standing at the foot of the bed."

"What?" Sam asked. "Did she say anything?"

"No. She just blew me a kiss and waved at me." Kayla said. "She looked…different."

"Different how?"

"She wasn't hurt. She looked happy." Kayla said.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Sam asked.

"I thought it might make Mommy feel sad. That Grandma said goodbye to me and not her." Kayla explained. "Will you not tell her, Daddy? Please?"

"I'll keep it between us." Sam said. "Is that why you wouldn't talk for so long?"

"Mostly." Kayla said. "I was afraid Mommy'd be sad or mad at me. But she is anyway."

"No, she's not." Sam said. "I promise she's not. You ready to go home?"

"Am I in trouble?" Kayla asked.

"For what?"

"Running away and putting Mary in the tub."

Sam sighed. "For Mary, no. _But,_ I need you to listen to me. I know you were just trying to help. But Mommy was right about one thing. You can't leave a baby alone in a bathtub. You have to watch them very closely. So no giving Mary a bath by yourself."

"I won't." Kayla said.

"As for running away? Yes, you know you're not supposed to run away."

"I know." Kayla said. "I just thought Mommy didn't want me anymore."

"I know. This isn't all on you. Mommy was very wrong with what she said to you. She knows that, and you know that you shouldn't've run away. So I'm gonna leave this between you and Mommy. But I mean it, Kayla. _No. More. Running._ Do you understand me?"

"Yes, sir." Kayla said. "I understand. I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted." Sam said. "You feel better?"

"A little." Kayla said.

"Okay. Good. Let's go home." Sam said, patting Kayla's knee. "Hey, I got something to tell you first."

"What is it?"

"I love you." Sam said, putting everything he had behind it. "I love you so much, Kayla bug."

"Love you too, Daddy."

"Let's go."

Five minutes later, Sam and Kayla were pulling back into the driveway of home. Jess was waiting on the front steps, knee bouncing up and down rapidly. Kayla jumped out of the car and ran up to her mother before Sam was even out of the car.

"I'm sorry, Mommy."

"Shhh. I'm sorry, baby. I'm so, so sorry. I didn't mean that." Jess said.

"I know." Kayla said. "It's okay, Mommy."

"No. No, baby, it's not." Jess said. "Sit down for me, huh?"

Kayla joined her mom on the steps, Sam taking his place next to them. Kayla wrapped her arms around Jess's waist, and Jess simply held her and stroked her hair before speaking again.

"I know I haven't been your mommy lately. I'm sorry, honey. I didn't know how to be your mommy without mine around. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah. It does." Kayla said.

"Tomorrow's Friday. When Daddy gets home from work, he and I are going away for the weekend."

"We are?" Sam asked.

"Yeah." Jess said.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No." Jess said. "No, you didn't. You've been so good these last few weeks, honey. I couldn't have done any of this without you."

"But I hurt Mary…"

"No. You didn't hurt Mary. You were trying to take care of her, which is what I should've been doing." Jess said. "You're such a good girl, Kayla. Better than I deserve."

"When are you leaving?"

"We're only leaving for a couple of days. We'll be back Sunday night." Jess assured. "Uncle Dean's going to come and stay with you and Mary."

"I don't want you to go, Mommy. I just got you back."

"That's why I need to go, honey. I need a couple of days away so that I can get back to being the mommy you deserve. It's nothing you did wrong. I promise, when I come back Sunday night, you'll have your mommy back. Just like before. Okay?"

"Okay, Mommy." Kayla said. "I'm sorry you're so sad about Grandma. And that I ran away."

"I'm sorry you've been so sad and I haven't helped you." Jess said. "And I forgive you for running away. You forgive me?"

"Of course I do, Mommy." Kayla said.

"Mary want hug too!"

Kayla and Jess both jumped, then exploded into giggles. They had all forgotten about Mary, sitting on the opposite end of the porch, playing with her toys in nothing but a t-shirt. The tension from the day made Jess and Kayla laugh much harder than normal. Sam peeked around the backs of Kayla and Jess and suggested,

"Since Kayla's hugging Mommy, why don't you hug Daddy?"

"Otay!" Mary ran down the porch and into Sam's arms. "Yay! Mary hug too!"

"Hey, Mary. I got an idea, you want to hear it?"

"Otay!"

Sam whispered his idea into Mary's ear.

"I wike it!" Mary exclaimed.

"Ready. Set…"

"GO!" Mary shouted, then jumped between her mother and sister and started tickling them with one hand each.

The neighbors wondered about the racket coming from the Winchester house, but when one investigated, she smiled. The four of them were a tangle of limbs of the front porch, laughing and giggling with the occasional shout of 'no fair!'. For the moment, they were a happy family, and even made their neighbors jealous.

 **A/N: One more short chapter's coming, then that's the end of this one! I have a one shot sequel planned for this, then an Evy story, then a John story. Stay tuned!**


	14. Chapter 14

_One Year Later_

It had been a rough transition, but Sam felt as if he was finally home. They'd moved from South Dakota a few weeks earlier, just after Kayla's eleventh birthday and right before school started. Kayla had resisted the move fiercely at first. She worried that being so far away from her grandpa and uncle Bobby meant that she'd never see them. She worried she wouldn't make friends. But once they were settled, Kayla reluctantly admitted that she 'sorta liked it'.

Kayla ran up the stairs, excited to be invited to a sleepover for the first time ever. Her mother would be much easier to convince than her father. Back in South Dakota, Sam had known all her friends, all her friends' parents, and it made it easier to do things with them away from home when she wanted to. When she noticed her father was already home, she decided to get it over with.

"Daddy, I'm home!"

"I'm in the kitchen!"

Kayla walked in and started talking right away. "I need to ask you some…." she stopped when she noticed someone at the table she'd never seen before. "Oh. Hi."

"Hi, there."

"Kay, this is Mr. Lindstrom. We work together." Sam explained.

Kayla waved a little, her shyness taking over. 

"It's nice to meet you, Kay."

Kayla winced. "You too. But please don't call me Kay. I only like my parents calling me that."

"Kayla Ellen…" Sam started to reprimand her for being rude, but Art cut him off.

"It's okay, Sam. My apologies, Kayla. You can call me Art. I hope we can be friends one day."

Kayla couldn't explain it, even to herself at first, but she didn't trust Art. Her instinct told her to get as far away from him as she could.

"Kay, you said you wanted to ask me something?"

"Oh. Yeah. I got invited to a sleepover tomorrow. Can I go? Please, please, please?"

"Who with?" Sam asked.

"A girl in my class."

"And since you won't give me her name I'm guessing Mommy and I haven't met her or her parents." Sam guessed. "You know the rules, Kayla."

"Daddy, please. It's my first sleepover ever."

"Why don't you invite your friends here next weekend, and then me and Mommy can decide if you can go to one later in the school year?" Sam suggested.

Kayla scowled. "Because no one wants to sleep over with a girl they don't know."

"We'll talk about it later tonight, Kay." Sam said.

"That means no."

"It means that when Mommy gets back from Mary's doctor's appointment, she and I will talk about it. Unless you want an answer right now, in which case it's no." Sam said.

When Kayla turned to leave the kitchen, Sam very nearly gave in. He could see the tears forming and he was transported back to his younger days. All Kayla wanted was friends, just like Sam when he was her age. The difference, of course, was that they had a stable home, and there really wasn't a good reason that Kayla _couldn't_ go, other than the fact that Sam and Jess hadn't met the parents. Which wasn't Kayla's fault.

"Kay?"

Kayla turned around, and there was no attitude, no defiance there whatsoever. Just a loneliness and a longing for friends her own age, a need Sam more than empathized with.

"I know you've had a hard time making friends. I will talk to Mommy when she gets home. Give me your friend's phone number, and if Mommy's okay with you going, we will call your friend's parents and go over and meet them tonight."

"And…."

"And if we trust them, we will let you go tomorrow." Sam said.

Kayla smiled. "Okay. Thanks, Daddy."

"You're welcome. Go on, go do your homework."

"Yes, sir." Kayla said. She turned back to Art, and the weird feeling still hadn't gone away. But she knew Daddy expected her to be polite. "Bye."

"Bye, Kayla." Art said with a smile that unsettled Kayla. Kayla turned and went to her bedroom as fast as she could.


End file.
